Giiiirrrl, Use Some Common Sense!

There’s this common perception among some sisters their photos on Facebook are “safe” because only sisters can see it.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t quite work that way. One of three scenarios are bound to occur:

1. Your friend’s brother, father, uncle just happens to walk by the computer and sees your pictures.

2. Your friend isn’t really the great friend you thought she was and she passes your pictures along to others without your approval.

3. Your friend is trying to play match-maker and shows your picture to a brother who may or may not be interested in getting married to you. — This is the most common scenario, in my opinion.

Perhaps it’s not a new phenomenon, but it’s definitely something that needs to be talked about.

Sisters, please use some common sense.

It’s the youth girls that probably fall into this the most, but then again, “shaadi” pics are pretty common as well.

We know you’re beautiful, OK? We know that when a girl wears make-up she can be very incredibly gorgeous…. or look like a clown, but I’m just sayin’.

Shaadi pictures are a phenomenon on their own. It’s like shaytaan loves weddings not because he’s happy for the bride and groom, but because he knows he can really get sisters to do acts they normally wouldn’t do.

This notion that says “I can take off my hijab on my wedding day because it’s only one day out of the year.”

Wrong! It’s everyday a picture of you not wearing your hijab gets pass around to friends, family and a million strangers.

Sisters, don’t let other sisters take pictures of you, even if you are wearing hijab. Trust me I see pictures all the time of sisters who I know wouldn’t want their pictures passed around. And who knows you may want to wear niqaab one day.

I needed to rant. It’s been a long time.

Egyptian Gumbo is on Mardi Gras break, what do you expect :) .


Add your comment

28 responses for this post

  1. hk Says:

    yo… where can i get that doll?

    for curiosity’s sake, is it rude to tell wedding guests not to bring cameras to your wedding?

  2. Serendipitouslife Says:

    “I can take off my hijab on my wedding day because it’s only one day out of the year.”

    Umm, i hope you mean ‘one day in her life’.

    Anyway, the same level of caution needs to be applied with the pictures the sisters take with their cell phones’ cameras. Phones are always getting misplaced, lost or stolen.

  3. zfnd Says:

    finally, someone said it!

  4. shirien Says:

    “Umm, i hope you mean ‘one day in her life’.”

    lol yeah, that’s what I meant. Although, you never know these days ;)

    I don’t think it’s rude at all to tell someone not to bring cameras to your wedding. I’ve been to several weddings where mashaAllah it’s been enforced and even people would be set up outside checking people for cameras :)

    If they get upset, they get upset but it’s almost a guarantee that if others take pictures all these complete strangers will see them and they can fall into the hands of someone who simply doesnt care about the rulings of hijab.

    wallahu alem.

    And subhanallah sister Serendipitouslife I actually never even thought about that. Jazaki Allahu khairan for pointing that out

  5. shirien Says:

    p.s. HK, Desi Barbie can be found in india :P haha

  6. Nihal Khan Says:

    Excellent post!

  7. marry halal Says:

    You write well. I particularly like this post.

    I may be stating the obvious in mentioning that on certain settings in Facebook, if your friend comments on your photo, that photo becomes accessible to all of his / her friends.

    You’re right that a compromising photo shouldn’t exist in the first place!

  8. Amatullah Says:

    This is so scary Shirien…I’ve seen it happen again and again, and this is exactly why I stay away from facebook!

    shudder..what a nightmare!

  9. fas Says:

    SO TRUE

    if only girls used their common sense!

  10. shirien Says:

    I thought i was going to get a feminist lashing when i posted this :P jazakum Allahu khairan!

    I honestly was thinking about this today, and started to think about all the family video I would take in egypt and how that’s uploaded on my computer (even if it is with full hijab). Somehow I just dont even feel safe having it on my own personal laptop. 1. incase it gets stolen 2. who knows who out there is monitoring what you do on your computer.

    It is a very unsettling thought. wallahul musta’an

  11. Naima Eldesi Says:

    I like the barbie, what a beauty :D . But to be honest it doesn’t bother me at all. I have my pictures on facebook and I trust my friends not to show it to anyone and that Includes you Shirien ;)

  12. shirien Says:

    lol listen, sure i will never show your pictures to anyone, however I cant say the same about anyone else, and I cant say they wont accidentally be seen.

    I’ll give you a scenario, lets say one day I’m admiring you in all your beauty stalking you on facebook.. and all of a sudden my cell phone rings in my room.

    Knowing me, I usually sprint like crazy to get to my phone in time, (especially because it’s so loud) and then “oops!” i engage in a lovely conversation on the phone forgetting I was admiring Naima the (nondesi) on my computer.

    Along comes Baba or “abu” or “Abi” or “aba” or… (you get the picture) and decides he needs to do something on the computer. He then questions me later telling me he didnt know I had such a beautiful friend (ok, my dad would never do that but you get the point).

    I would have used brother in this scenario, but alas, I have none.

    I should write stories for a living…

    or not.

  13. uh ok Says:

    um Shirien, you must have a creepy mind to think of that scenario… creeeepy!

    I understand Muslim women do not want strange men to see them. But don’t act like you will all melt if it does happen by accident.

    I mean, Allah is pleased with you for your modesty, inshaAllah. But do you feel the same amount of shame when you commit a sin against Allah (and we all do)?

    I doubt it.

    sheesh.

  14. shirien Says:

    why do I suddenly have to be “creepy” to think of a real life scenario?

    I’m always on the family computer and I always leave it when i have to answer my phone.. why again am I creepy?

    “uh ok” so what you’re doing is posting anonymously, and bringing on a whole other subject of sins and guilt assuming (and really presumptuously) implying that I most likely dont feel guilt when I sin, when really the topic at hand is naseeha for sisters to be careful with pictures and you dont know me.

    Good times.

  15. uh ok Says:

    Who would use their father as an example for a pervert?

    sick.

    “lets say one day I’m admiring you in all your beauty stalking you on facebook..”

    I think she should be more worried about girls like you, that’s is a valid concern.

  16. shirien Says:

    I never said anything perverted. it’s people with twisted minds that make things perverted when they arent.

    I’m not talking about my father, im saying this is a scenario that could happen to anyone with a father, brother, uncle, cousin, brother’s friend, nephew, whatever.

    All I’m saying is that your friends could be themselves trustworthy and you trust them with an amanah, but things like sending pictures without hijab or whatever there are a lot of scenarios that could and the DO happen. wallahu alem. It’s just naseeha for those who want to take heed. For those who dont, barak Allahu feekom for at least hearing the argument.

    I love anonymous commentators (in general) who think they can say anything about anyone because they are anonymous.

    I’m inspired now to write a post about it at a future date, inshaAllah. Jazak(i) Allah Khair.

  17. Hala Says:

    don’t take it the wrong way shirien :) as one sister once put it, we women are hormonal beasts. get on the wrong side of a sister behind a computer screen, and that’s it. haha.

    =P

    i look forward to an entertaining post about anonymous internet commentators. that’s a pet peeve of mine.

  18. shirien Says:

    Hahah Hala,

    no no seriously I’m totally cool with it. people can disagree with me as much as they want.

    As like you anonymous commentators who like to attack people’s character when they dont know the person personally, that are a pet peeve of mine too. :)

  19. Naima Eldesi Says:

    Uh oh Shirien use that example because she can, she doesn’t need people twisting her words. She didn’t make her father look bad, she only used him because he’s also man and that can happen. Be nice uh oh.

  20. shirien Says:

    lol not to go off topic but when you said “uh oh shirien” I thought you were really saying Uh Oh shirien, what did you start now lol.. haha that gave me a good laugh.

    Besides Naima you know you thoroughly enjoy my stories. :P

  21. Naima Eldesi Says:

    I enjoyed it big time, I wish it was little longer. Also I did the uh oh shirien on purpose :D

  22. Sarah Says:

    Salaam Shirien!! I think this is the first time posting. You didn’t mention the freaky people who like to see girls all modest :-P

  23. shirien Says:

    awww sarah! you need to come post comments more often! you’re ms. opinion!

    p.s. atcha tomorrow, be there.

  24. Sarah Says:

    Tomorrow it’s lamb. I have been having lamb withdrawals.I wouldn’t miss it!! I do say that I fear will we show up and it will be all gone :( Make du’a for world peace and lamb :-P

  25. Layla Says:

    When you upload anything to the internet, consider that it has the potential to be seen by anyone.

    Read this part of FaceBook’s privacy policy:
    “You post User Content (as defined in the Facebook Terms of Use) on the Site at your own risk. Although we allow you to set privacy options that limit access to your pages, please be aware that no security measures are perfect or impenetrable. We cannot control the actions of other Users with whom you may choose to share your pages and information. Therefore, we cannot and do not guarantee that User Content you post on the Site will not be viewed by unauthorized persons. We are not responsible for circumvention of any privacy settings or security measures contained on the Site. You understand and acknowledge that, even after removal, copies of User Content may remain viewable in cached and archived pages or if other Users have copied or stored your User Content.”

    The point is, if you tacked a picture of yourself without hijab on a public billboard with a piece of paper reading ‘only girls!’ taped over it, would you trust it to be safe from unwanted eyes?
    It’s basically the same thing.

  26. Layla Says:

    Source for above quotation:
    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=507513519&v=feed&story_fbid=54811193502#/policy.php?ref=pf

  27. SisinIslam Says:

    True say, never put your pictures on the web its not safe at all. I have a friend who’s picture is actually being used as part of an advertisement :/ always read the fine print, your giving these companies permission to use you pics how they please.

    -

  28. Is Facebook A Sin? No, but Maybe a Misleading Headline is… | | Egyptian Gumbo Says:

    [...] by Ankita Rao from the Religion News Service based in Washington D.C. She came across an old post of mine dealing with Muslim women who take off their hijab for their wedding day, and then proceed [...]

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