As a disclaimer before I write this post, I am not (yet) a niqaabi. However, recent events have widened my eyes and moved me to a point I decided that I should write about it.
In Baton Rouge, there are probably only three niqaabi sisters. One of them is a good friend of mine and the other two I’m just adding on for wishful thinking. My sister recently came down to visit for a week, and it was the first time she came down since she started wearing niqaab, mashaAllah.
I started wondering if my world as a girl who wears hijab and abaya is really much different than a girl who wears niqaab/khymar. I’m not talking in terms of shariah, I’m talking about society’s treatment of Muslim women; specifically the western society. I thought that people who dislike (or even hate) Muslims would hate us just the same amount whether we cover our faces or not. I figured we’d probably get an equal amount of dirty looks.
What I noticed was vastly different reaction from society as well as the effect of the niqaab on the sister wearing it. Now, I’m speaking directly in terms of the interaction and reaction of the people down here in Louisiana. It’s probably much different in other places like Philly and New York, because people are more used to seeing diversity in those areas.
In Louisiana I noticed 2 different reactions:
1. People gasping out of disbelief
2. People trying their best to be so friendly to you, because they know how prejudice the rest of society is toward you.
The people who gasped out of disbelief were the true southern hicks. Almost immediately when she arrived, there was a guy with a mullet sitting outside with his buddy staring at her like he was watching the most interesting thing he had ever seen on TV. My sister turned to me and was pretty ticked off and told me how obvious it was that they were staring at her. I turned around and they didn’t even pretend they weren’t looking straight at her. They pointed and whispered. My brother-in-law ended up giving them dawah and in the end they were actually pretty nice.
The guy asked my brother-in-law where he and my sister were from. And they were pretty shocked when he told them that my sister was born and raised in Baton Rouge, La.
“You got me!,” mullet guy responded with a hick accent. Then they inquired why I didn’t cover my face by my sister did.
That’s true Egyptian Gumbo right there.
The stares and whispers happened everywhere we went. It didn’t really bother me, because as Muslims you need to be strong and you need to not care what society says or thinks about you — especially if you are doing something for the sake of Allah.
I asked my sister if this was normal. She replied, “It’s gotten to a point that if they don’t stare, I think something is wrong with them; It’s like, ‘Why aren’t you staring?’”
Which brings me to a very important message that can’t be delayed:
——-
MESSAGE TO ALL NON-MUSLIMS:
Niqaabi Women can SEE. They are not blind. They can see you staring, they can see you praying for your life and they can see you trying to figure out how they eat. Thank you, that is all.
——-
The second type of people were the ones that were the nicest of people and just want to make you feel welcome no matter what. People would come up and tell my sister that (mashaAllah) her baby was really good on the plane, and other people would just be extra nice when talking. It’s treatment I never saw (or never noticed) as a sister who wears abaya.
Now, for the transformation within.
Subhanallah, I really admire anyone who wears niqaab — especially here in the States. You really have to be strong and you just have to put your trust in Allah.
I was pretty shocked with the strengthening of my sister’s personality, mashaAllah. When people would say something or stare at her for very long she’d basically go up to them and ask them “What’s your problem?” She told me how there was this one ghetto girl who basically was trying to mock my sister and her husband. My sister told the girl that surprise, surprise, “I speak better English than you.” The girl backed off. Alhamdulillah. 
—-
There are always sisters looking to take the next step, but are always afraid of the result. For that sister out there who plans to wear hijab “one day” make that day today. Most of the time our fears just come from shaytaan and not putting our priorities in the right place. Why should we fear society and fear the things they may (or may not) say?
Allah tell’s us in the Quran that the disbelievers will never be pleased with us. In fact, in surat Al-Maeda verse Allah ‘az wa jal says,
“This day, those who disbelieved have given up all hope of your religion, so fear them not, but fear Me. This day, I have perfected your religion for you, completed My Favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islâm as your religion.”
Allah ‘az wa jal has more right to be feared. And as long as you are doing something for His sake, He will protect you and give you strength.
If you’re a sister who “wants to wear abaya one day” then subhanallah even from my own experience, a sister who lives in Louisiana, you have nothing to be afraid of except for Allah. There is really nothing to it. Have I gotten hateful comments before? Yes but rarely. The guys that do say something to me, I follow them asking them to repeat what they said directly in my face… but they run away from me. (true story lol)
In general, I feel like people are truly shocked when you show them you are not weak like they think you are. If you stand up for yourself you gain that respect and they in turn are the weak ones.
If you shy away from taking the next step, then you shy away from a lot of ajr and a lot of dawah opportunities. Because as i’ve noticed the higher you go in the level in which you want to please Allah and go that extra mile to do something for His sake, the more opportunities for dawah you get.
I mean just in the week that my sister spent here there was not a day that went by that dawah wasn’t given to the people that interacted with her or even stared at her! Compare that to the sister who is afraid to even put on a hijab, subhanallah society looks at her and thinks she is just one of them, although she is not because she worships Allah and believes in His Oneness.
Think of the group of people you want to be with on the Day of Judgment — would you want to be with the society that you blended into in this world, or would you want to struggle a little to be with the society of the righteous Muslims from every generation? Wallahi I would chose to be with the salaf and those that follow the manhaj of the salaf any day.
Just some food for thought. And to the girls that attend our youth halaqa, think deeply about this and more importantly I know many of you have something that has held you back in the past. But really, now is the time to act. Take that next step to become closer to Allah and become the Muslim you’ve expressed you want to become. InshaAllah we’ll talk soon 
WAllahu ta’ala alem.
Stumble it!
May 21st, 2008 at 7:06 pm
That was a great article Shiriene
The “I speak better English than you.” was the best line…lol
I cant start wearing the niqab, cuz im a dude, but it was super inspiring
lol
JazakyllahuKharyran
May 21st, 2008 at 7:09 pm
Asalaamu alaikum.
Okay, I am a niqabi sister in Michigan. Let me just say, what you describe is how it is here as well. It is not, however, how people reacted to me in a small town in Mississippi (the gasping, pointing, freaking, I mean; yes, they were all the nice people there). I can honestly say though that I haven’t seen much difference here (in Michigan, in a city where you almost never see a woman in hijab let alone niqab) between how people reacted to me in hijab, with or without abaya, or in niqab.
Sisters, you aren’t dressing to please other people, and nothing you do is going to please them anyway so you might as well dress Islamically.
And we can add to your note to non-Muslims: We can also HEAR you, and most of us understand your English just fine and know exactly what you are saying, LOL.
May 21st, 2008 at 10:15 pm
Masha’Allah that was a great article…snap!
Trully our niqaabi sisters should be respected, they really have guts and Allah swt has made them brave. I remember when Jack straw made that silly comment to the niqaabi sis and we had to spend the next few weeks defending them. Dawah indeed. Thanks to Jack Straw more sisters are wearing niqaab than ever before. Alhamdulillah.
Regarding taking the next step…Just take it sisters! Go for it and you won’t regret it, i made that (overstated) decision in my life and if i could have taken the step earlier and gained extra ajr, i would have done it.
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:23 am
Ahmed, lol khalas pass it on to sisters you know inshaAllah. for brothers substitute hijab for beard/pants above ankles.
Sr. Aaminah, mashaAllah! you lived in mississippi and you didnt get these reactions? now THAT is indeed strange. and perhaps with niqaab there are different levels as well. there is the abaya and wearing the niqaab and then there is the saudi khymaar style and wearing the niqaab. i guess there’s even levels within one level.
Haha, you’re right i COMPLETELY forgot to add the “they can hear you!” line in there. same with hijab too, people are like can you hear well with that thing on? lol im like umm it’s not earmuffs…
Alima, Jack Straw sounds realllllly familiar. remind me who he is… I’m not sure if i’m familiar with his remarks.
as for taking the next step, its really a concept that can apply to all brothers and sisters. we all have that one thing that we know we should be doing in order to be a better muslim. like praying qiyyam, or reading more quran, or even if we wear abayah and we feel like we need to wear niqaab.
likewise there is always that ONE sin that we know we should give up or avoid doing ever again in order to be a better person…
it’s just getting over procrastination and any fears and just doing it. jump into the cold pool, because you know 10 min later your body will adjust to it and you’ll be content.
wallahu ta’ala alem. i feel like i cant even give justice to what it’s really like to wear niqaab. perhaps niqaabis can relay their experiences.
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:07 am
jazakiAllahu khayran, shirien - that was an inspiring read, mashaAllah
May 22nd, 2008 at 7:31 am
I’m probably more along the lines of the overly-friend type. Or at least I was til I got more used to seeing women in niqab. Now I think I’m just normal.
I’m an American, non-Muslim, expat woman in Cairo. I ride the metro daily, often on the women’s car. People often stare at me there, which is fine, because I’m usually one of the few non-Egyptians there. So they’re looking at me because I look different, even when I’m covered up from ankle to wrist (though of course my neck and hair are uncovered).
Anyway, when I catch other women’s eyes, I usually smile. And most of the time, they smile back. So of course I smile also when I find a woman in niqab looking at me. And she might be smiling back, but of course I can’t see if she is. And this was a bit jarring to get used to. I’m so used to reading people’s faces that it took some time getting used to, basically, no reaction from someone–because no matter if she smiles or not, there is no reaction for me to see.
Since we (probably) don’t share a language, there are only non-verbal cues… and those are limited.
I’m not at all meaning to suggest women shouldn’t wear niqab. But I do understand why it makes some people squirm. Of course, the hostility you are talking about is terribly no matter who you are or what you are wearing.
Thanks for this post.
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Jack Straw…well…
‘In October 2006 Straw attracted controversy by suggesting to a local newspaper, The Lancashire Evening Telegraph, that Muslim women who wear veils that cover their faces (the niqab) can inhibit inter-community relations’
May 22nd, 2008 at 9:08 pm
mashalalh nice post may allah give ur sis the strength and great u the strength to follow in her footsteps may allah protect our sisters and brother from shaytan and his helps from man and from jiin
salam alikom
May 23rd, 2008 at 1:59 am
Ms. Four,
wow, i’m really glad you gave your feedback. to be honest even MUSLIM women are a little taken aback by niqaabis when they first interact with them. I completely understand it’s like talking to someone you have no idea what they are like. It’s nice that you are in egypt and you have such an open view of the world. we need more people that like.
I feel that americans are so common in egypt though. Especially because you have the girls always copying american style now
trust me if they are looking at you, it’s not because they dont like you.. most egyptians are actually quite found of Americans.
I’d love to keep in touch with you. I hope you come back and read the comments, where in egypt do you stay? I’ll be there (God-Willing) in another month or so.
Alima, lol thanks for the info, wikipedia is useful for something, eh? I’ll look more into the story.
Abo Al Noom, Barak Allahu feek for your dua, ameen.
June 13th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Salaams,
Nice article. I would be very interested if you had anything to say about this you think might fit well with the theme of Islam on My Side. Please check it out, and if you’d like to submit anything for the blog or the anthology, please contact me at submissions@islamonmyside.com. Please also tell your friends and halaqa group about this writing opportunity insha’Allah.
June 16th, 2008 at 10:48 pm
Thank you for these articles. I am learning so much.
June 16th, 2008 at 10:51 pm
you’re more than welcome, i’m glad you enjoy them! I look forward to teaching new things, and interacting with you Felicia, you’re more than welcome to ask any questions.. be sure to subscribe to the RSS feed
June 16th, 2008 at 11:08 pm
dis is gud too but i always wonder is niqab a must? i realy wana knw the proof 4 wat is correct
June 17th, 2008 at 4:49 am
Assalamualaikum,
Are you seriously asking a question or just “wondering”?
Also, I don’t think sister Shirien intends this to be a Q&A place…but i could be wrong so please ask her to be sure…
Anyways, this issue of Niqaab has had two different opinions since the time of Tabi’een. And this is a Fiqh issue. For every Fiqh issue you will find difference of opinions. However, there is a stronger/more correct opinion almost all the time.
This is ikhtilaaf (difference of opinion) not to be confused with iftiraaq (splitting/separating).
Unfortunately, we have sisters these days who wear Niqaab and look down on the sister who are wearing proper Hijaab (does not mean ‘the head scarf’ it means khimaar/jilbaab). And also we have sisters who wear Hijaab (i.e. khimaar/jilbaab) calling the Niqaabis ‘extremists’.
Such behavior from either party is totally unacceptable in Islam and this is the result of ignorance and too much free time…the 2 reasons why Shaytaan enters the hearts of people and bring doubts/desires.
Having said that, the 2 opinions are - Fard (obligatory) & Mustahabb (recommended).
Whenever you ask a Fiqh question, you must remember that Sheikh/Taalib/Da’ee will answer according to the Fiqh he follows…
Niqaab is not Fard. Jamhoor (majority) of the Scholars of this Ummah (past to present) do not say it is Fard.
When you say something is Fard (obligation), that means failing to do so is punishable by Allah. So where is the proof that a woman who wears let’s say a black (best color) Hijaab (i.e. khimaar/jilbaab) will still be held accountable on the Day of Judgment by Allah?
But there are verses and many hadeeth saying that not wearing Hijaab (i.e. khimaar/jilbaab)is a Major Sin.
Allah says:
And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent and to draw khumurihinna (their khimaars) all over juyoobihinna (head, neck, bosom) [Noor 24:31]
**in case some feminist who has no religion comes and reads this and argues “why do women need to lower their gaze”…the verse before it 24:30 states - Tell the believing men to lower their gaze, and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do.**
And Allah says:
O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw jalaabeebihinna (their cloaks) all over their bodies. That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allah is Ever OftForgiving, Most Merciful. [Ahzaab 33:59]
The difference occurrs among the Scholars in understanding “covering their juyoob with khimaar [24:31]” and “draw their jilbaab all over their bodies [33:59]”
Majority of Scholars said face is not included in the meaning of juyoob and it refers to the head, neck & bosom.
‘Aa’isha, Ummul Mu’minin narrated: Asma’ bint Abu Bakr, entered upon the Messenger of Allah (saws) wearing thin clothes. The Messenger of Allah (saws) turned his attention from her. He said: O Asma’, when a woman reaches the age of menstruation, it does not suit her that she displays her parts of body except this and this, and he pointed to her face and hands. [Abu Dawood # 4092]
And also,
‘Abdullah ibn ‘Abbas narrated: Al-Fadl (his brother) was riding behind Allah’s Apostle and a woman from the tribe of Khath’am came and Al-Fadl started looking at her and she started looking at him. The Prophet turned Al-Fadl’s face to the other side. The woman said, “O Allah’s Messenger! The obligation of Hajj enjoined by Allah on His devotees has become due on my father and he is old and weak, and he cannot sit firm on the Mount; may I perform Hajj on his behalf?” The Prophet replied, “Yes, you may.” That happened during the Hajj-al-Wida (of the Prophet). [Bukhari #589, Muslim and others]
This Hadeeth is reported in both Bukhari & Muslim. If the woman was wearing Niqaab then how did Al-Fadl see her face and kept looking at her? Also the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam didn’t command her to cover her face but rather turned Al-Fadl’s face!
Some people will argue this Hadeeth has been abrogated. How is that possible when Abdullah ibn ‘Abbas clearly mentioned this happened during Hajj-il-Wida, where as the verses of Hijaab were revealed in the 5 AH.
I tried to keep it as short as possible. And again I’m saying the opinion of Jamhoor ul ‘Ulemah is that Niqaab is not Fard. Many people think Majority say it’s Fard because our great Scholars like Sh.’Uthaymeen & Bin Baaz (may Allah have mercy on them) follow the opinion it is Fard.
But remember Imam Abu Haneefah did not attack Sufyaan ath-Thawri nor did Sh.Bin Baaz go on a rampage against Sh.Albani!
It is very unfortunate that a country has banned Sh.Albani’s book jilbaab alal mar’ah wal muslimah simply because he proved Niqaab not to be Fard.
Such behavior is nothing but ghuloo’ (extremism)
So, sisters please take it easy on eachother regardless of which opinion you follow and spend time researching to see what the Majority of Ahlus Sunnah wal Jama’ah Scholars said…
Jazak Allah Khair,
Assalamualaikum