Egyptian Gumbo

“You Know it’s True,” is a new series I’m starting. It’s basically everything that everyone notices but no one ever talks about… until now.

This “You Know it’s True” post is about: The Masjid.

1. Brothers wish the sisters in the masjid would stay quiet. Women talk to much.

2. Mama, if your child is crying during salah, it’s OK to pick the baby up– please, prevent the distractions if you can. You can tell when most of us are annoyed after salah, because as soon as we do our tasleem it’s all eyes on baby… and mama.

3. We all want people to stop stepping on our feet. When we’re in line in salah, please stop stepping on my feet. And when I move my foot away, for some reason you feel the need step on it again. There is a reason I moved it away!

4. Sisters, you too, are not supposed to talk during the Jummah Khutbah– and yes that includes the time when people stand up for salah — not a time for chitty-chatty.

5. Sisters again, please don’t enter the masalah if you cannot pray. Sitting down and listening to the lecture in the masalah area and then going outside when salah starts is still wrong.

6. The masjid is usually completely separated until it comes to parking lot time. And while there is no interaction between the sexes (for the most part) everyone is standing outside searching for their spouses or future spouses. Stop guys, just stop.

7. Most of us cringe when we find someone that comes to the masjid interested in Islam and when we ask, “What got you interested?” The girl responds, “Oh my boyfriend is a Muslim.” Brothers, if you have a girlfriend and bring her to Islam, we’ll find out who you are through her randomly telling us your name. So no matter how secretive you are about it, she’ll accidentally expose you. Trust me, happens all the time. Her sins will be erased and you in turn, are in troubllleee.

8. There’s always this one sister or brother you really hope you don’t end up standing next to in salah. You love them, but they just distract you in prayer with either their swaying, their whispers or their attachment to your hip.

9. The line does not start at the very right of the masjid — unless the imam is standing there. Please stop trying to drag us away from our ajr. The line starts directly behind the imam, even for sisters. So stop pulling my clothes, please… you stretched them :(.

10. Every masjid has board problems. No matter where you are, your masjid has “politics.”

11. If you’re Egyptian, please stop reading the Quran in Egyptian dialect. If you’re desi, it’s “‘A’oothu,” not “‘A’oozu.”

12. Kids in the masjid are crazy no matter which masjid you go to.

13. Sisters, it’s kinda embarrassing when you cut off the speaker and yell really loudly from behind the divider or the 2nd floor “Excuse me, the sisters can’t hear!” Solution: get one of the crazy kids running around to tell someone on the brother’s side the problem.

14. There is always a car illegally parked outside.

15. There always has to be a basketball net outside for brothers to play.

16. Some people’s socks are stanky, with a capital STANK.

17. Masjid bathrooms are like public bathrooms (unfortunately.)

18. No one wants to hear that Arab song or techno in the Masjid. No matter how many times the imam reminds people to “turn off cell phones” a cell phone will always go off, and people will get mad.

19. There’s always someone that brings a prayer rug, even if the carpet is perfectly clean. Really guys, you don’t need a prayer rug.

20. There will always be sisters in every masjid who demand to have a place on the board.

You know it’s true.

I love the masjid.

Wallahu alem.

Mr. Dreher,

Your latest article on beliefnet.com has recently come to my attention — partially because of the subject matter being about me and my work with The Daily Reveille.

I’ve done a little bit of research about you and your past and have discovered that you are currently a columnist for the Dallas Morning News, are a contributor to the National Review and The American Conservative. It also appears that you were previously a columnist for The New York Post and have authored a book titled, “Crunchy Cons.”

However, regardless of your “credentials,” I am not impressed. While it does seems that you are a journalist by definition, you failed to do the most fundamental and obvious thing any journalist should do before writing an article: research. You’ve been an opinion columnist longer than I have. So it seems rather odd to me that you would neither do your research nor ask me for an interview before assuming certain things.

In your article, “Dhimmitude on the Bayou” you wrote:

“Favog discovers, to his chagrin, that our alma mater in journalism, the LSU Daily Reveille, allowed itself to be mau-mau’d by a Muslim Student into giving her a column, which she used to proselytize for Islam.”

Mr. Dreher, it seems as though you did not take the time to even look through or read any of my columns before rushing to judgment.

You later said, “Now, just imagine a state college newspaper giving a column to a fundamentalist Christian who uses it solely for the purpose of evangelization. Wouldn’t happen. Shouldn’t happen. But anything can be justified in the name of diversity. Ms. Elmasraya may be a pushy activist with a one-track mind, and a mediocre, jargon-dependent writer to boot, but the lady obviously knows a thing or two about how American newsrooms work. I predict she’ll go far.”

I challenge you to find any instances in any of my columns i’ve written in the past 1.5 years in which I blatantly call people to accept Islam. If someone accepted Islam as a result of reading my columns and seeing the truth nature of Islam, than this is by the Will of Allah alone and I’m very happy that I could help someone see the true nature of a true religion. And yes, this has happened before but I still challenge you to find an instance of what you call, “Evangelization.”

So again, for a journalist it’s surprising to see that you did little-to-no research on my past columns before you decided to dish out your “George-Bushy” words.

You claim that I somehow admitted my columns were for proselytizing Islam in my “Farewell Daily Reveille” post - which again, has no basis. I told a story of how I was hired. And in order to understand my post you need to understand a concept called “Divine Decree” or Qadr. And that is to say that Allah (or God) had everything that we will do in our lives already written before we were even born and that everything that happens in the world is by His will. It was by the divine decree of Allah that I was at the right place and the right time which led me to get my job. Much like it is by the Qadr of Allah that we wake up every morning.

I also take offense at the notion you have made by implying The Daily Reveille felt threatened or pressured into hireing me. If that were the case, then why would they re-hire me for two more semesters in which about 100 other people were competing for that one spot every semester? I did have to re-apply and go through the interview process every semester with different editors and different managers each time — just so you know. And tell me Mr. Dreher, how can this be when I had no idea they were accepting applications at the time and the editor himself was the one who suggested I apply? Hmm…

You also said, “Now, just imagine a state college newspaper giving a column to a fundamentalist Christian who uses it solely for the purpose of evangelization. Wouldn’t happen. Shouldn’t happen.”

It did happen. Again, this shows your lack of research because if you did any at all the name “Emily Byers” would come to mind. Byers is a friend and ex-Coworker of mine. She, too, was a columnist for The Daily Reveille who — more often than not — would talk about Catholicism. So nice try.

I’d like to thank you for being an example to the Muslims (and to the rest of the world) the very problem with the mass media today. People are quick to write and speak publicly without doing any investigations or without knowing anything at all about the topic they talk about.

Your use of the words “Dhimmi,” “Evangelical” and “Proselytize” are poor attempts of persuasion, to say the least. And I think most of your readers caught on to that based on the comments they left you on your site. But to reiterate, I thank you for being a prime example for my readers as to why they should NOT trust everything a journalist and someone with so-called “credentials” spews out at them.

Perhaps the problem, Mr. Dreher, is not that The Daily Reveille hired me to write about Islam, but perhaps you, as a strong conservative, are merely threatened by the spread of the true nature of Islam. For even the idol-worshipers during the time of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) used to attack him not because of him as a person, but because it was Islam and truth that they hated.

And Allah knows best.

Sincerely,

Shirien

Farewell haters, bigots (and that one crazy woman who stalked me.) It’s been entertaining, enlightening and stressful.

What can I say, It’s been a good 1.5 years of writing about Islam (with a semester break in between somewhere), Alhamdulillah. I’ve gotten people asking me how I managed to get my job as an opinion columnist. I guess it’s kind of funny; I never really mentioned this to people, until now. Gather around chickadees while I tell you the story of my wonderful journey into journalism. Sure, I could say something like “It’s because I’m a good writer,” and stop there. But truthfully that’s not really how I got my job. *This post might get a little long, but inshaAllah it’ll be worth it*

In high school, I had an English teacher whom I really didn’t care much for — Mrs. Wimberly. (I called her Wimbo for short.) Just as she thought my writing was mediocre, I thought her outfits with dinosaurs on them were pretty mediocre too. I would say they were really tacky, but I couldn’t help staring and smiling at them all throughout class time. Wimbo would hand back my papers disappointed that I didn’t see the biblical illusions she saw in the books we would read. But that wasn’t my fault. The woman was a little crazy. It really wouldn’t be a stretch to say that if I gave her the book, “Elmo’s Big Adventure” Mr. Elmo would be the biblical illusion because he was “red and represented the blood of Christ.” Anyway, I didn’t really listen to her criticisms and decided to take journalism classes in high school, thus sparking my first interest in media.

Ahh, that really has nothing to do with how I got my job… but do I miss those dinosaurs.

Anyway, fast-forwarding to the end of my freshman year at LSU. Everyone read and still reads The Daily Reveille on campus everyday. One day, I picked up the paper and saw a cartoon drawn on the op-ed page that not only caught my attention, it infuriated me. This wasn’t the first time The Daily Reveille printed something bigoted and completely offensive to Muslims. I decided to head over to the newsroom to have a little talk with the cartoonist but to my dismay he wasn’t there. Surely, I wasn’t going to leave without complaining. After all, I had to defend Islam. And I’m a girl, complaining is in our nature.

So, I requested to speak to the editor-in-chief at the time. It turned out I wasn’t the only one offended by a cartoon which depicted the Iranian President sitting at a laundry mat waiting for his brain to be finished being “washed” with “Quran Detergent;” other people had apparently been complaining all day.

After complaining about how unacceptable it was for him to print the cartoon, he sincerely apologized and told me he “wants to make sure that it doesn’t happen again in the future,” even though he was graduating only week later. He told me that at that very moment they were holding a forum for people who wanted to apply for being on the opinon staff for the next semester. He highly recommended I apply for a position after knowing I was a mass communication major. Subhanallah, it really was the Qadr of Allah that I went to complain at that very moment, because next thing I knew he led me into the room in which I was to apply. And I did. And so did about 100 other people who wanted one of 12 spots.

Anyway, I applied, got called for an interview and then alhamdulillah I got the job. And that started my work in mass dawah. Which wallahi has been such a blessing from the very beginning. However, you have to have a strong heart when speaking the truth about Islam. Don’t sugar coat things, don’t fall under the pressure of those around you.

Wallahi I can’t tell you all how many times I got people saying “Write about something else!” and subhanallah for a brief moment you think about it… then you realize that you are doing this purely for the sake of Allah and I figured if they fire me for not wanting to write about anything other than Islam, then so be it. But they actually loved the readers I would bring and the hits I would bring to the website too, alhamdulillah.

Anyway, so it’s been a good time. I’ve seen a lot of results coming from my columns. People seeing the truth about Islam, new members to our community, changing people’s perceptions; all by the tawfeeq of Allah.

So without further adieu, my last column for the Daily Reveille (I don’t want to re-apply). This column sums up my final message to all the non-Muslims out there- Pick up the Quran and be enlightened, literally:

“‘Hijab Challenge’ successful, enlightening” — (I don’t get to chose my own headlines, that’s why they are always boring!)

It’s nothing great because it came in the middle of my finals, but alhamdulillah ,no complaints. Wallahul musta’an.

“The End” to that chapter in my life…

DEEN SCOPE COMING SOON! -Watch out Islamonline.net muahaha..

I’m sure just by reading the title of the post, you know exactly what this is. It’s something we all notice but no one ever talks about. A white woman goes missing, it’s national news. A black woman goes missing, it’s not even local news. And upon looking further into this you’ll realize that the news media isn’t a medium aimed to spread real, important news but rather, it’s a medium for reporting entertainment stories. And If you want to know what Dave Chappelle has to say about this subject, keep reading.

Shelton Sanders, a magistrate’s son who worked at the University of South Carolina medical school, was on track for his degree when he disappeared in June 2001. To date, no metropolitan newspaper outside his hometown has written an article about him.

Missing persons is big news. So let’s say (la qaddar Allah) that you get kidnapped and no one knows of your whereabouts. And while you are distressed no one knows where you are, you have a little hope that the media will report that you are missing and they will find you in no time! But wait, before you get excited I have a checklist for you. If you meet all of these conditions then you can be certain your story will be all over the news:

1. You have to be a woman

2. You have to be white, (sorry Latinas)

3. It will help a lot if you are either pregnant or a child

4. You have to be beautiful

5.You have to be under 35 years old

6. You have to be of middle or high-class status in society (poor people, you’re out)

If you don’t meet these conditions then consider yourself forgotten.

So why is this interesting to viewers? After all, these stories are reported more for entertainment purposes and human interest stories, rather than to actually help the person get found (this is a secondary purpose). The reason it’s interesting is because it appeals to the whole “damsel in distress” story.

You’ve probably heard of one or more of these people:

JonBenet Ramsey, Elisabeth Smart, Lucie Blackman, Laci Peterson, Jennifer Wilbanks (”The Runaway Bride”), Natalie Holloway and Jessie Marie Davis - to name a few

What do all of these women have in common? They are all white. People go missing all the time, but why is it that these select girls get chosen to get covered in the media? To me it’s sickening that the news media blatantly is telling people if you’re ugly and if you aren’t white, you don’t matter and you don’t exist to us.

Here are the real stats for people who go missing:

The fact that most of us would be shocked to learn that there are more men that go missing than women proves my point.

I remember a couple of years back a Muslimah from New Orleans was 8 months pregnant when she was murdered. She was stabbed severely several times, and no one knows who murdered her. The story got no media attention at all. And this was after Laci Peterson’s death, who was also pregnant at the time she was murdered. The difference between Laci and The Muslimah from New Orleans? MWWS.

In my minorities in the media class, A girl showed this video about MWWS. I went on youtube to find the censored version. And this was as sensored as it gets, so I apologize because apparently the FCC doesn’t sensor all bad words. Any thoughts?