Egyptian Gumbo

Assalamu alaikum,

Please forgive me for my lack of posting this past week and a few days. I’ve been EXTREMELY busy, and as I speak I’m in Amsterdam for another 4 hours before I head to Cairo inshaAllah.

Airports always amaze me.. It really makes the world seem microscopic. Every gate is filled with people from a different country. I love it.

I brought my video camera along with me for the trip and i’ll be shooting mini videos (not showing myself of course) of my trip and the different adventures I come across. Every year I come to Masr and every year I regret not bring my camera along with me everywhere. Egyptians are spontaneous and there is ALWAYS something weird going on.

So before you guys freak out, I’ll be posting soon inshaAllah just as soon as I get settled. Look forward to these posts, I have a feeling they’ll be pretty interesting.

Anyone waiting for me to email them back, contact them, etc. Please be patient. I’ll get to that as soon as I can and I apologize for the delay.

Shirien

I thought this was really cute. Jim Henson (Kermit) is trying so hard not to laugh.

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Bismillah,

Virtually on every blog people get into discussions/debates over the “Music Issues:” What’s halal and what’s haram? There are different of opinions — but what are the different opinions and what are the PROOFS behind the opinions? There is the view of ibn Hazm (rahimahullah) and others.

My blog is mainly about media with an Islamic view. I promote videos, I make videos (rarely), and I do PR work under certain conditions.

I asked a student of knowledge to write something up about music so that I can post it here. Everything written is from this student of knowledge and not my own words, and if it weren’t for the fact that the brother asked not to have his name mentioned, I would have mentioned it because I realize it’s important to know who you are taking knowledge from. However, the evidence speak for itself.

Before anyone decides to write a comment, I ask you to be rational and not in attack mode. I do not write to please other people, but rather inshaAllah to please Allah ‘az wa jal. Therefore, I decided to post this. And I hope that this can be a reference to you and your friends, and anyone else you would like to advice against the evils of shaytaan. Feel free to pass it on inshaAllah. This post is a little long, but worth it, inshaAllah. And I was asked not to edit anything, and that’s an amanah on me so here it is inshaAllah:

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This is a small collection of Ayaat, Ahadeeth and statements of Scholars of Ahlus Sunnah wal Jama’ah regarding musical instruments & singing…

Proof 1 -

And of mankind is he who purchases idle talks (lahwal hadeeth) to mislead from the Path of Allah without knowledge… [Luqmaan 31:6]

‘Abdullah ibn ‘Abbas said: “lahwal hadeeth/idle talk” means falsehood and ghinaa’ (singing).

‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ood said: Wallahi (three times) lahwal hadeeth means ghinaa’. And the same interpretation was also given by ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Umar.

Al-Nadr ibn al-Haarith used to tell to the people of Makkah stories of the Persians and their kings and the kings of Romans and so on, to distract people from the Qur’an. Whether it is with stories or any words drawing people away from Allah’s Words or singing, both of them are idle talk. This is why ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Abbas said: “Idle talk” is falsehood and singing.

[Tafseer at-Tabari/Ibn Katheer]

Proof 2 -

(Allah said to Iblees) And befool those whom you can among them with your voice… [Israa' 17:64]

‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ood said: bi sawtik (with your [iblees] voice) is ma’aazif (musical instruments).[Tafseer at-Tabari]
Proof 3 -

Do you then wonder at this recital (the Quran)?
And you laugh at it and weep not; Wasting your (precious) lifetime in pastime and amusements. [Najm 53:59-61]

Verse 61 says wa antum saamidoon (wasting your lifetime in pastime & amusement). ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Abbas said regarding “sumood” (noun and saamiddon is verb) means ghinaa’ (singing)

And this is Yemeni dialect, “ismad lanaa” means “sing for us”…

[Tafseer ibn Katheer]

Point to note –

After the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, no one knows more about the meaning of Allah’s Words than the Companions.

‘Abdullah ibn ‘Abbas said: Allah’s Messenger embraced me and said, “Oh Allah given him the knowledge of the Qur’an”. [Bukhari]

Seeing this proof how can someone reject Tafseer coming from ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Abbas?

Proof 4 -

Narrated that Abu ‘Aamir or Abu Maalik al-Ash’aree that he heard the the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam saying: From among my followers there will be some people who will consider illegal sexual intercourse, the wearing of silk, the drinking of alcoholic drinks and the use of musical instruments (ma’aazif), as lawful. And there will be some people who will stay near the side of a mountain and in the evening their shepherd will come to them with their sheep and ask them for something, but they will say to him, ‘Return to us tomorrow.’ Allah will destroy them during the night and will let the mountain fall on them, and He will transform the rest of them into monkeys and pigs and they will remain so till the Day of Resurrection. [Bukhari # 5590]

The Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam included musical instruments along with zina and khamr which shows how heinous of an action it is.

However due to many misconceptions, lack of information, etc we need to mention a few more things about this Hadeeth.

First argument : Imam Ibn Hazm said music is not Haraam.

Imam Bukhari recorded this Hadeeth by saying wa qaala hishaamubnu ‘ammaar/and Hishaam ibn ‘Ammaar said…

Imam Ibn Hazm - rahimullah - said that there was no link between Imam Bukhari and Hishaam ibn ‘Ammaar and therefore considered this Hadeeth to be da’eef (weak). Imam Ibn Hazm made it clear that no Saheeh report reached him stating Musical instruments was Haraam. Al-Haafidh al-’Iraaqi, al-Haafidh Ibn Hajar, Ibn al-Salaah, and all the other great Hadeeth Scholars have clearly pointed out that this was Ibn Hazm’s mistake and recognizing an authentic chain. [Fath ul Baaree v.10]

No Muhaddith of the past or present has classified this Hadeeth from Saheeh al-Bukhari as weak. Those who look for excuses, point out Imam Ibn Hazm allowed Musical instruments. He simply said no Saheeh Hadeeth reached him and if he heard any authentic Hadeeth prohibiting music, he would have said so. [also check Ighaathat al-Lahfaan by Ibn al-Qayyim]

Imam Ibn Hazm was one of the Scholars of Ahlus Sunnah wal Jama’ah, people do not follow his ‘Aqeedah or his Manhaj, but they will use this one statement from him to fulfill their desires.

Second argument: no this Hadeeth is saying that if musical instrument is accompanied by zina and alcohol then it is Haraam, otherwise it is fine.

It is very silly that many Muslims will make such a conclusion from this Hadeeth. If we follow the logic of such people then we can say “oh guess what, zina is fine as long as it is not accompanied by alcohol and music!”…or “hey alcohol is fine just don’t listen to music and fornicate while drinking”

Sheikh Albaani said: This Hadeeth indicates in two ways that musical instruments and enjoyment of listening to music are Haraam. The first is the fact that the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: “[they] permit” which clearly indicates that the things mentioned, including musical instruments, are Haraam according to Sharee’ah, but those people will permit them. The second is the fact that musical instruments are mentioned alongside things which are definitely known to be Haraam, i.e., zinaa and alcohol: if they (musical instruments) were not Haraam, why would they be mentioned alongside these things? (al-Silsilah al-Saheehah)

Proof 5 -

It was narrated that an-Naafi’ said: ‘Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar heard a woodwind instrument, and he put his fingers in his ears and kept away from that path. He said to me, O Naafi’, can you hear anything? I said, No. So he took his fingers away from his ears and said: I was with the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam and he heard something like this, and he did the same thing. [Abu Dawood]

Some people do not understand the meaning of this Hadeeth and will argue how it is forbidding music. ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Umar just happened to have heard while walking by (i.e. unintentionally) even then he put his fingers in his ears so as not to hear it! And he said the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam did the same. We all know that “unintentional” acts are not held accountable by Allah. Yet the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam and his Companion put their fingers in their ear so as not to even let the voice of Shaytaan enter their ears unintentionally.

Ibn Qudaamah al-Maqdisi said: the listener is the one who intends to hear, and that was not the case with Ibn ‘Umar; what happened in his case was hearing. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) needed to know when the sound stopped because he had moved away from that path and blocked his ears. So he did not want to go back to that path or unblock his ears until the noise had stopped, so when he allowed Ibn ‘Umar to continue hearing it, this was because of necessity. [al-Mughni, 10/173]

Proof 6 -

Jaabir ibn ‘Abdullah said: “The Messenger of Allah sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam went to to al-Nakhl with ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf, when his son Ibraaheem was dying. He took the child in his lap and his eyes filled with tears. ‘Abd al-Rahmaan said, ‘Are you weeping when you have forbidden us to weep?’ He said: I do not prohibit weeping, but I prohibited two foolish immoral voices: A voice during a calamity while clawing at one’s face and tearing one’s clothes, and Shaytan’s scream. [Tirmidhi # 1005]

Anas ibn Maalik (the servant of the Prophet) said the “wa rannatish shaytaan/and the scream of Shaytaan” refers to musical instruments.

Other proofs can be given, but for the true believers just one verse prohibiting something should be more than enough!

All the Imams of Ahlus Sunnah wal Jama’ah are in unanimous agreement that singing/musical instruments are strictly forbidden in Islam. And Imam Abu Haneefah was the strictest stating the one who listens and enjoys musical instruments has committed kufr.
Not to be confused, he didn’t call the listener of music a kaafir (disbeliever), he said listening to music is a type of kufr (disbelief)
Imam Maalik, Shafi’ee and Ahmad said: Only a faasiq will listen to music.

[Ighaathat al-Lahfaan by Ibn Qayyim/Tafseer al-Qurtubi]

Having said all this we know that the only musical instrument that is allowed in Islam is the daff (i.e. tambourine without any bells).

Proof 1 -

Narrated ‘A’ishah: Allah’s Messenger sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam came to my house while two girls were singing beside me the songs of Bu’aath (a story about the war between the two tribes of the Ansar, the Khazraj and the Aus, before Islam). The Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam lay down and turned his face to the other side. Then Abu Bakr came and spoke to me harshly saying, “instruments of Shaytaan near the Prophet?” Allah’s Messenger sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam turned his face towards him and said, “Leave them.” When Abu Bakr became inattentive, I signaled to those girls to go out and they left.

So it is allowed for girls to sing/use daff (words of good meaning) on the days of ‘Eid. The reaction of Abu Bakr saying “mizmaaratush shaytaan” (instruments of Shaytaan) again points out that music/singing generally is something that is prohibited in Islam.

Proof 2 -

The Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: The thing that will distinguish between Halaal and Haraam in marriage is the beating of the daff. [Bukhari, Ahmad]

Women are allowed to beat the daff during weddings…in fact, it is something Mustahabb (highly recommended).

Nasheeds -
The recent trend of Nasheeds have changed dramatically and many times we see men and women together (or by men only) using all sorts of musical instruments and calling it “Islamic songs.”

Such a way of spending hours practicing, recording, selling/buying of Nasheeds is totally unheard of in the past. It has reached a point where the youth are flocking towards memorizing the lyrics of Nasheeds rather than memorizing and understanding Kalaam ul Allah, al-Qur’an.

Also there are some Nasheeds without the use of musical instruments or women where the men are making flute/drum, etc noises with their mouth and considering it to be Halaal since they are not “using any instruments but just the natural voice”.

Sh.’Uthaymeen said: There has been a lot of talk about Islamic nasheeds. I have not listened to them for a long time. When they first appeared there was nothing wrong with them. There were no duffs, and they were performed in a manner that did not involve any fitnah, and they were not performed with the tunes of haraam songs. But then they changed and we began to hear a rhythm that may have been a duff or it may have been something other than a duff, and they began to choose performers with beautiful and enchanting voices, then they changed further and began to be performed in the manner of haraam songs. Hence we began to feel uneasy about them, and unable to issue fatwas stating that they were permissible in all cases, or that they were forbidden in all cases. If they are free of the things that I have referred to then they are permissible, but if they are accompanied by the duff or performers are chosen who have beautiful and enchanting voices, or they are performed in the manner of indecent songs, then it is not permissible to listen to them. [Al-Sahwah al-Islamiyyah pg.185]

Sh. Al-Fawzaan said: As for that which is called Islamic nasheeds, they have been given more time and effort than they deserve, to such an extent that they have become an art form which takes up space in school curricula and school activities, and the recording companies record huge numbers of them to sell and distribute, and most houses are full of them, and many young men and women listen to them, and it takes up a lot of their time, and they are listened to more than recordings of Qur’an, Sunnah, lectures and useful lessons. [Al-Bayaan li Akhta' Ba'd al-Kuttaab pg. 342]

Statements from many other Scholars from Ahlus Sunnah wal Jama’ah of our times can be given, but to keep this short we can conclude by stating the Shari’ guidelines for any Nasheed to be considered Halaal:

1. The words of the nasheed must be free of Haraam and foolish words.

2. The nasheed should not be accompanied by musical instruments. No musical instrument is permitted except the duff for women on certain occasions. See the answer to question no.

3. It should be free of sound effects that imitate musical instruments, because what counts is what appears to be the case, and imitating haraam instruments is not permissible, especially when the bad effect is the same as that which happens with real instruments.

4. Listening to nasheed should not become a habit which takes up a person’s time and affects his duties and mustahabb actions, such as affecting his reading of Qur’an and calling others to Allah.

5. The performer of a nasheed should not be a woman performing in front of men, or a man with an enchanting appearance or voice performing in front of women.

6. One should avoid listening to performers with soft voices who move their bodies in rhythm, because there is fitnah in all of that and it is an imitation of the evildoers.

7. One should avoid the images that are put on the covers of their tapes, and more important than that, one should avoid the video clips that accompany their nasheeds, especially those which contain provocative movements and imitations of immoral singers.

8. The purpose of the nasheed should be the words, not the tune.

I end by mentioning the verse:

Have you (O Muhammad Sallallahu alayhi wa allam) seen him who has taken as his Ilaah (deity) his own desire? [Furqaan 25:43]

When clear prohibition comes from Allah and His Messenger, we still disobey and follow our desires. Truly we are guilty of taking our desires as deities besides (or along with) Allah. May Allah protect us all from such misguidance…

—-

Wallahu ta’ala alem.

Bismillah,

I thought for a while before I decided to write this post as this topic goes way out of my comfort zone. I stumbled upon an article written in the International Herald Tribune, which quite frankly shocked me, disgusted me and confused me all at the same time. So here’s the article, then I’ll give my comments below that:

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For Muslim women in Europe, a medical road back to virginity

By Elaine Sciolino and Souad Mekhennet

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

PARIS: The surgery in the private clinic off the Champs-Élysées involved one semicircular cut, 10 self-dissolving stitches and a discounted fee of $2,900.

But for the patient, a 23-year-old French student of Moroccan descent from Montpellier, the 30-minute procedure represented the key to a new life: the illusion of virginity.

Like an increasing number of other Muslim women in Europe, she had a “hymenoplasty,” a restoration of her hymen, the thin vaginal membrane that normally breaks during the first act of intercourse.

“In my culture, not to be a virgin is to be dirt,” said the student, perched on a hospital bed as she awaited surgery Thursday. “Right now, virginity is more important to me than life.”

As Europe’s Muslim population grows, many young Muslim women find themselves caught between the freedoms that European society affords and the deep-rooted traditions of their parents’ and grandparents’ generations.

Gynecologists report that in the past few years, more Muslim women are asking for certificates of virginity before marriage.

That trend in turn has created a demand among cosmetic surgeons for hymen replacements, which, if done properly, they say, will not be detected and will produce tell-tale vaginal bleeding on the wedding night. The service is widely advertised on the Internet; there are medical tourism packages to countries like Tunisia where the procedure is less expensive.

“If you’re a Muslim woman growing up in more open societies in Europe, you can easily end up having sex before marriage,” said Hicham Mouallem, a doctor in London who performs the surgery. “So if you’re looking to marry a Muslim and don’t want to have problems, you’ll try to recapture your virginity.”

There are no reliable statistics on how many women undergo the procedure because it is mostly done in private clinics and in most cases is not covered by tax-financed insurance plans.

But the subject of hymen repair is becoming so talked about that it has become the subject of a film comedy that opens in Italy this week. “Women’s Hearts,” as its title is translated in English, tells the story of a Moroccan-born woman living in Italy who takes a road trip to Casablanca for the operation.

“We realized that what we thought was a sporadic practice was actually pretty common,” said Davide Sordella, the director. “These women can live in Italy, adopt our mentality and wear jeans. But in the moments that matter, they don’t always have the strength to go against their culture.”

The issue has been particularly charged in France, where there has been a renewed and fierce debate about a prejudice that was supposed to have been buried with the country’s sexual revolution 40 years ago: the importance of a woman’s virginity.

The furor followed the revelation two weeks ago that a court in the northern city of Lille had annulled the 2006 marriage of two French Muslims after the groom discovered his bride was not the virgin she had claimed to be.

The domestic saga has gripped the nation. The bridegroom, an unidentified engineer in his 30s, left the nuptial bed and announced to the still-partying wedding guests that his bride had lied about her past. She was delivered that night to her parents’ doorstep.

The next day, he asked a lawyer to annul the marriage. The bride, then a nursing student in her 20s, confessed the truth to the court and agreed to an annulment.

In its ruling, there was no mention of religion. Rather, it cited breach of contract, concluding that he had married her after “she was presented to him as single and chaste.”

In secular, republican France, the case touches on several sensitive subjects: the intrusion of religion into daily life, the grounds for dissolution of a marriage and the equality of the sexes.

There were calls in Parliament this week for the resignation of Rachida Dati, the minister of justice, after she upheld the ruling. Dati, who is a Muslim, backed down and ordered an appeal.

Some feminists, lawyers and doctors warned that the court’s acceptance of the centrality of virginity in marriage would encourage more French women from Arab and African Muslim backgrounds to have their hymens rebuilt. But there is much debate over whether the procedure is an act of liberation or repression.

“The judgment was a betrayal of France’s Muslim women,” said Elizabeth Badinter, a feminist writer. “It sends these women a message of despair by saying that virginity is important in the eyes of the law. More women are going to say to themselves: ‘My God, I’m not going to take that risk. I’ll recreate my virginity.”‘

The plight of the rejected bride persuaded the Montpellier student to go ahead with the surgery.

She insisted that she had never had intercourse and said that she had discovered her hymen was torn only when she tried to obtain a certificate of virginity to present to her boyfriend and his family.

She said she had bled after an accident on a horse when she was 10.

The trauma of realizing that she could not prove her virginity was so intense, she said, that she quietly took out a loan to pay for the procedure.

“All of a sudden, virginity is important in France,” she said. “I realized that I could be seen like that woman everyone is talking about on television.”

Surgeons who perform the procedure said they were empowering their patients by giving them a viable future and preventing them from being abused - or even killed - by their fathers or brothers.

“Who am I to judge?” asked Marc Abecassis, the plastic surgeon who restored the Montpellier student’s hymen. “I have colleagues in the United States whose patients do this as a Valentine’s present to their husbands. What I do is different. This is not for amusement. My patients don’t have a choice if they want to find serenity - and husbands.”

A specialist in what he calls “intimate” surgery, including penile enhancement, Abecassis says he performs two to four hymen restorations a week.

The French College of Gynecologists and Obstetricians opposes the hymen procedure on moral, cultural and health grounds.

“We had a revolution in France to win equality; we had a sexual revolution in 1968 when women fought for contraception and abortion,” said Jacques Lansac, the association’s president. “Attaching so much importance to the hymen is regression, submission to the intolerance of the past.”

But the stories of the women who have had the surgery capture the complexity and raw emotion behind their decision.

One 32-year-old Macedonian-born Muslim said that she had chosen the surgery to avoid being punished by her father after her relationship with her boyfriend of eight years ended.

“I was afraid that my father would take me to a doctor and see whether I was still a virgin,” said the woman, who owns a small business and lives on her own in Frankfurt. “He told me, ‘I will forgive everything, but not if you have thrown dirt on my honor.’ I wasn’t afraid he would kill me, but I was sure he would have beaten me.”

In other cases, the woman and her partner together decide on the surgery. A 26-year-old French woman of Moroccan descent said she lost her virginity four years ago when she fell in love with the man she was now planning to marry. She and her fiancé decided to share the cost of her $3,400 hymen replacement surgery in Paris.

His extended family in Morocco is very conservative, she said, and required that a gynecologist - and family friend - in Morocco examine her for proof of virginity before their wedding.

“It doesn’t matter for my fiancé that I am not a virgin, but it would pose a huge problem for his family,” she said. “They know that you can pour blood on the sheets on the wedding night, so I have to have better proof.”

Meanwhile, the lives of the young French couple whose marriage was annulled are on hold. The Justice Ministry has asked the Lille prosecutor for an appeal, arguing that the court decision “provoked a heated social debate” that “touched all citizens of our country and especially women.” At the Islamic Center of Roubaix, the suburb of Lille where the marriage took place, there is sympathy for the woman.

“The man is the biggest of all the donkeys,” said Abdelkibir Errami, the center’s vice president. “Even if the woman was no longer a virgin, he had no right to expose her honor. This is not what Islam teaches. It teaches forgiveness.”

Katrin Bennhold contributed reporting from Paris and Elisabetta Povoledo contributed from Rome.

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When I first read this article, I was pretty disgusted. First, I found it interesting from a journalistic perspective the authors didn’t even bother to go into detail of what is the Islamic stance on such issues — whether it be on the procedure itself or even just the Islamic view of illegal sexual intercourse. It was all this talk about feminism and how some Europeans think that it’s oppressive to Muslim women because they are somehow “backward” in thinking that their virginity is important. The whole article was written in respect of culture; not religion.

I’m not even sure how to feel about this if the woman is truly repentant and wants to hide her sin from everyone — at least she repented before Allah. Likewise, I can understand doing a procedure like this in cases of rape.

And for anyone who read the article and is wondering the Islamic view on the issue go ahead and read the detailed fatwah on Islam QA:

http://islamqa.com/en/ref/844

Another part of this article that shocked me is this notion of having a “certificate of virginity” — seriously? Like are you really serious? That’s when you know society is corrupt, when your word and assuming the best of the girl is no longer acceptable. That a girl has to go to the doctor before the marriage is done and get this “certificate.” I don’t know about the girl but I think I’d be pretty offended if someone told me I have to go to the doctor and give the family proof.

And to the guy’s family, if you really are unsure about the girl then:

1. You should assume the best

2. If her character gives you doubts, isn’t that a SIGN?

Everything about this article shocked me, from the “Valentines Day gift” to the MAN who performs this surgery three or four times a week.

WAllahul musta’an. This is scary to think that this is the state of Muslims today. May Allah protect us from his wrath. Ameen.

Wallahu alem.

Bismillah,

I put this together in like 20 min or less (Windows Movie Maker is great when you’re on the run.) This recitation is beautiful. If you like it pass it on, stumble, etc. so others will have their iman risen as well, inshaAllah.

This is from Surat Al-Ahzaab by Sheikh Salman Al-Utaybi. I included the interpretation of the meaning (translation) after surat Al-Fatiha. May Allah accept this for His sake.

Keep me in your dua, inshaAllah:

“You Know it’s True,” is a new series I’m starting. It’s basically everything that everyone notices but no one ever talks about… until now.

This “You Know it’s True” post is about: The Masjid.

1. Brothers wish the sisters in the masjid would stay quiet. Women talk to much.

2. Mama, if your child is crying during salah, it’s OK to pick the baby up– please, prevent the distractions if you can. You can tell when most of us are annoyed after salah, because as soon as we do our tasleem it’s all eyes on baby… and mama.

3. We all want people to stop stepping on our feet. When we’re in line in salah, please stop stepping on my feet. And when I move my foot away, for some reason you feel the need step on it again. There is a reason I moved it away!

4. Sisters, you too, are not supposed to talk during the Jummah Khutbah– and yes that includes the time when people stand up for salah — not a time for chitty-chatty.

5. Sisters again, please don’t enter the masalah if you cannot pray. Sitting down and listening to the lecture in the masalah area and then going outside when salah starts is still wrong.

6. The masjid is usually completely separated until it comes to parking lot time. And while there is no interaction between the sexes (for the most part) everyone is standing outside searching for their spouses or future spouses. Stop guys, just stop.

7. Most of us cringe when we find someone that comes to the masjid interested in Islam and when we ask, “What got you interested?” The girl responds, “Oh my boyfriend is a Muslim.” Brothers, if you have a girlfriend and bring her to Islam, we’ll find out who you are through her randomly telling us your name. So no matter how secretive you are about it, she’ll accidentally expose you. Trust me, happens all the time. Her sins will be erased and you in turn, are in troubllleee.

8. There’s always this one sister or brother you really hope you don’t end up standing next to in salah. You love them, but they just distract you in prayer with either their swaying, their whispers or their attachment to your hip.

9. The line does not start at the very right of the masjid — unless the imam is standing there. Please stop trying to drag us away from our ajr. The line starts directly behind the imam, even for sisters. So stop pulling my clothes, please… you stretched them :(.

10. Every masjid has board problems. No matter where you are, your masjid has “politics.”

11. If you’re Egyptian, please stop reading the Quran in Egyptian dialect. If you’re desi, it’s “‘A’oothu,” not “‘A’oozu.”

12. Kids in the masjid are crazy no matter which masjid you go to.

13. Sisters, it’s kinda embarrassing when you cut off the speaker and yell really loudly from behind the divider or the 2nd floor “Excuse me, the sisters can’t hear!” Solution: get one of the crazy kids running around to tell someone on the brother’s side the problem.

14. There is always a car illegally parked outside.

15. There always has to be a basketball net outside for brothers to play.

16. Some people’s socks are stanky, with a capital STANK.

17. Masjid bathrooms are like public bathrooms (unfortunately.)

18. No one wants to hear that Arab song or techno in the Masjid. No matter how many times the imam reminds people to “turn off cell phones” a cell phone will always go off, and people will get mad.

19. There’s always someone that brings a prayer rug, even if the carpet is perfectly clean. Really guys, you don’t need a prayer rug.

20. There will always be sisters in every masjid who demand to have a place on the board.

You know it’s true.

I love the masjid.

Wallahu alem.

I have this “tradition” I do with my mom every night. She watches the Arabic dish at night — sometimes watching sheiookh give lectures and other times watching the salah from Al-Haram — and while she sits there watching, I sit under her feet and talk to her for like 10 minutes every night. Tonight was no exception.

Today, I walked by our den and saw her watching this nature show. It showed all these different safari animals, much like a show found on The Discovery Channel, only it was narrated in Arabic. There was no music, so I decided ‘OK, let me watch it with her.’ We sat there watching as the cheetah with its three cubs would go hunting for food. The mama cheetah ran and attacked a gazelle and chewed it up on camera. “Subhanallah!” I thought. I’m kind of squeamish, so It was a little difficult for me to watch the cheetah tear into the flesh of the gazelle while the narrator described what was happening in detail.

The story gets better.

So now the cheetah jumped over a little pond, but her three little cubs were still behind. So then something weird happened, the narrator started talking for the cheetah! “Come swim to me my little ones,” she said in a baby voice. I turned to my mom and I told her this is why I hate Arabic satellite. “They should keep it professional and not try to be cute and insert words into the animal’s mouth,” I complained. One after another animals were hunting each other, blood was shed — it showed the whole food chain in action. Every once in a while the narrator would cut from serious voice to a child-like voice speaking on behalf of the animals.

If you are squeamish, you shouldn’t watch the video. But subhanallah this isn’t the video, but surprisingly it’s EXACTLY the same scenario with the mama cheetah hunting for food for her cubs. And this is about the same type of gore that would be shown. Very amazing, subhaallah:

Then at the very end of the show a song came on in which little children were singing, “Ya ayyuhal atfaal!”

The show was made for children! That was some pretty morbid stuff for children to see. Me and my mom start laughing. And in case you don’t know my mom, she can be quite a comedian sometimes. So my mom started to make her own theme song for the show:

(in Arabic)

Mom: “O children come gather around. Gather around for blood and death”

Shirien: HAHA

Mom: “Watch this show and go to sleep, so that you can get nightmares.”

Shirien: “Oh mama, you’re so funny!”

Mom: “So go get your diapers kids, because you may have an accident…”

Shirien: “Haha, oh man…”

Mom: “So gather round for blood an gore..”

Shirien: “OK mama… stop….”

Mom: “(hehe) We guarantee a good time…”

Shirien: “No, seriously mama… stop…”

Mom: (laughs but continues)

Shirien: “Seriously mama, you’re funny but you don’t know when to stop…”

Haha, gotta love my mommy, MashaAllah.

———

What’s the point of the story? It’s not enough to know who your target audience is. Rather, along knowing your target audience you must also know the how to properly convey the message in both tone and content. The show would have been AMAZING if they geared it toward adults and didn’t insert childish voices.

That can apply to any of the mediums of communication. I know it seems kind of self-explanatory but it’s actually something crucially important when sending your message for mass publication or viewing. Tone and content and how appropriate they are to your target audience is key to making it effective.

In fact, to give an example of where this can kind of get tricky think about toys and toy advertisements. Advertisements geared toward children are perhaps the most criticized of all. In fact, in some countries it has been banned altogether. Here in the US, there are strict guidelines. Some people link these advertisements to child obesity and turning children into consumers very early on.

But is it really the children that these advertisers are really trying to target as their primary audience, or is it the children’s parents? Who has the money?

There is no doubt that TV advertisements with the little dolls and action figures target children who watch shows on Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network. But that’s all an attempt to get the children to convince the parents to seal the deal and to ultimately make the purchase. This marketing strategy is commonly referred to as “pester power” or in other words, how much a kid can nag their parents into buying the toy. But that doesn’t work unless the advertisers also show the “importance” of the toy, knowing parents only want what’s best for their children.

And why wouldn’t they, parents collectively spend over $2 billion on toys each year. So it gets pretty tricky for marketers to sometimes balance appeal to kids while inserting messages of “importance of the toy” for the parents, without changing the tone of the advertisement.

I’ll go more in depth on the different tones to use for different audiences and different messages at a later date, inshaAllah.

Wallahu Alem.