During my first few days here in Egypt I went out with my cousin and her friend Lena* to this beautiful restaurant over-looking the beach. It was the first time I met Lena. She was sweet, kind and polite — she also happened to be a hijabi.

We went out and had a great time. I don’t know if i’ll see her again any time soon. But I was happy my cousin had such wonderful friends, mashaAllah.

Two days later, I’m with my cousin in the car stuck in traffic and she tells me “Did you know Lena took off her hijab?” I was like, “When? You mean a couple of years ago?”She replied, “No… I mean like yesterday. She’s been wearing it for seven years now.”

I was baffled. The thought of going out without my hijab after putting it on – especially for so long- is unthinkable to me. Not only because 1.  I do it for the sake of Allah, but 2. Because it would make me feel so exposed and naked without it.

I proceeded to tell my cousin that the intention probably wasn’t right from the beginning. After all, a lot of people in Egypt do it because of culture, not religion. But my cousin refuted that and told me that she was very sincere when she put it on and Lena told her that she wore it for the sake of Allah.

But WHY? What is the reason a person takes off their hijab if we know it is fard and we know that we are doing it to please Allah? What are the possible reasons that we might take off our hijabs?

Not everyone who takes off their hijab does so because they never had the right intention. And not everyone takes it off because they have low self-esteem or family pressure.

But still the question lingers… why? What is missing in our lives that we feel will be fulfilled with taking off our hijabs? One answer?

The love and attention of people, whether we know it consciously or subconsciously.

Allah ‘az wa jal says in surat Al-Baqarah:

“And of mankind are some who take (for worship) others besides Allah as rivals (to Allah). They love them as they love Allah. But those who believe, love Allah more (than anything else). If only, those who do wrong could see, when they will see the torment, that all power belongs to Allah and that Allah is Severe in punishment”

It’s seeking love from other than Allah. It’s obeying (worshiping) society and desires and leaving the worship of Allah ‘az wa jal.

And wallahi dear sisters, it is this seeking of filling the void in the heart in places other than with Allah that brings a person to the edge of a very steep cliff — a cliff that can lead to a person’s spiritual death.

What we truly miss in our hearts that needs fulfilling, is the love of Allah.

Dear sisters, whether we’ve never worn hijab at all or recently have decided to take it off, first, know that we do not judge anyone and what another’s heart contains. The hearts belong to Allah and no one can know what is in another person’s heart other than Allah. There are girls who wear hijab and commit shirk with Allah. And in the eyes of Allah they are nothing.

Second, know that Allah ‘az wa jal says in His noble book:

“Say: “O Ibadee (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”

It does not matter what people think of us. If you feel, since you’ve taken off your hijab, people have judged you, then know that Allah ‘az wa jal is the one who will judge between people on the day of judgment. So what matters is what Allah ‘az wa jal thinks about you. And we should not seek love and attention from people before we seek it from Allah. Truly if you seek the love of Allah, then you will follow what Allah has sent with Muhammad Salallahu alayhi wa sallam and in turn you will gain the love of Allah and feel it in your hearts and be fully content.

As Allah ‘az wa jal says,

“Say (Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa sallam): ‘If you really love Allah, then follow me and Allah will love you. He will forgive your sins and Allah is the Oft-Forgiving, Most-Merciful.’”

Third, every girl who starts to wear hijab late in her life always goes through this stage in which she thinks about what it will be like to “never go out with her hair done again.” I know many sisters who set a time period of when they will start to wear hijab. They tell themselves, “I’m going to start wearing hijab FOR SURE, inshaAllah, when Ramadan starts.” (Hopefully Allah allows them to live that long.)

And we want to enjoy their time while we can before we actually commit to wear the hijab and never take it off.

Subhanallah, we know what you are going through, sisters. But know that while we think that we are “enjoying your time before commitment,” we will soon regret that time we spent before committing to hijab.

When you do something purely for the sake of Allah, then you regret all the times you didn’t do it.

It’s like a Muslim who starts to pray later in life, they soon regret all the times they didn’t pray when they were supposed to.

Allah ‘az wa jal clearly gives us an order in the Quran to wear our hijabs, and who has more right to be obeyed and fully submitted to other than the one who created us, nurishes and provides for us? No one.

Allah ‘az wa jal orders the believing women surat An-Nur to:

“…not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer palms of hands or one eye or dress like veil, gloves, headcover, apron), and to draw their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms)…”

We all say that we want to get closer to Allah. And it’s always about taking that next step. Everyone deep down knows what that next step is in their life, whether it’s actually doing something or even just refraining from one particular sin.

“Taking Off Hijab Syndrome” or “Didn’t Start Wearing Hijab Yet Syndrome” have cures. And that cure is found only with Allah. Seek help from Allah more than you would seek help from a doctor for a fatal disease. Because even doctors cannot cure diseases without the will of Allah.

Take the first step and Allah will help you take care of the rest inshaAllah. He will take care of all the people who have ever judged you, he will take care of your beauty and most of Allah he will take care of that void in your heart.

Wallahu alem. May Allah ‘az wa jal guide us to the path that leads to seeing His Face in Jannah, and may Allah make it easy for all our sisters. Ameen.

________________________________________________________________________________________

* Real names were not used.

The follow are just some of the observations I’ve made over the years, and I think it’ll be a great preparation for those who have yet to visit Egypt . I think you guys who come to Masr regularly will agree:

1. “Is this Halal or Haram?”

Anyone who asks a fiqh question will start off by saying “I heard so and so…” and then follow it up with “Is this halal or is it haram?”

It could be the most indepth question, but in the end “howa dah halal wala haram?”

2. Everyone is a “scholar” on T.V.

Believe it or not most Egyptians enjoy watching religious programming on T.V. Usually the people will call in the show, ask their “Is this halal or haram” question and you will have the sheiookh answer the question. The problem? The problem lies when there are TOO many of these shows on, and a VARIETY of different views and the people at home watching listen attentively for the rulings and make up their mind by the random sheikh or sheikha on T.V.

3. If you see graffiti you have to remember Allah.

The weirdest thing about graffiti on the walls in Egypt is that most of them are deen reminders. So you’ll see things spray painted on walls that say “Ithkur Allah- remember Allah” or you’ll see “La illaha il Allah” and anything else that if you read and repeat will give you good deeds. Someone should tell them that spray painting good things on other people’s property doesn’t make it right.

(Allahu Akbar spray-painted on thing construction site thingy in Alexandria)

4. There is always urine, stool, vomit or spit on any street or sidewalk.

It’s bad enough when you actually catch a hobo do it in public and you run away from disturbance. But when you’re randomly taking your walks on the beach (cournaish) and you can’t enjoy the scenery of the ocean because you have to look to where you are walking for fear of stepping on something disgusting… it’s a problem.

(Believe it or not i ACTUALLY had a picture for this, but decided to be kind to my readers and not post it up. Haha.)

5. There is always just this “one sheikh of al-Azhar”

Anytime you try to tell someone the evidence behind why something is wrong, they will always reply, “But the sheikh of al-Azhar said so and so.” If you ask them the name of that “one sheikh” they can never tell you.

6. You will always see sunflower seeds or any other type of seeds on the ground.

It doesn’t matter where you are. You know you’re in Egypt when there is “lib” all over the streets.

7. Every man in Egypt has the same B.O. smell.

One of the first signs you’re in Egypt is when you step off the plane and smell that wonderful Egyptian B.O.

I’m guessing because everyone pretty much eats “fool and taymiyyah” every day that’s why their sweat all smells the same. InshaAllah one of my goals is to raise national awareness of deodorant here in Masr… put my PR skills to work.

8. The masajid can be normal buildings but the minaret has to be absolutely beautiful.

MashaAllah one of the most amazing things to look at is the skyline. Because towering above all the buildings are the minarets of the masajid. But when you look at the masjid itself, most of the times it’s just a normal building. Pretty cool.

9. Some of the best Quran reciters are here.

There are too many amazing voices here to count. MashaAllah, if you want to pray in jamma3ah you can be assured that at least one of the masajid on your street has an amazing qari.

10. Honk if you feel like it.

Everyone who drives in Egypt honks for no reason. If you’re stuck in traffic, people will honk and hold for 10 seconds and think that that will actually make a difference in the cars moving.

Someone once told me that honking in Egypt in like a language, you can say “sabah el-khair (good morning)” and “Go to hell” all by honking. Haha.

11. One person per square inch.

Especially in summer time, Egypt is CROWDED. Whether you are in Cairo or Alexandria get ready to see oceans of people who apparently never go to sleep. My cousin’s friend’s mom, came to visit them in Alexandria during Eid (she happened to be Palestinian). Her reaction to the crowd of people in the streets was, “Yowm Al-Hashr… Egyptians are ready.”

12. Every taxi is unique.

Taxi drivers LOVE to decorate their taxis to be differentiated from all the rest. You will see everything from skulls, girly stuffed bears, to lights and stickers all over the place. But one thing in common, is that a taxi will ALWAYS have something funny written on it (mostly things you can make fun of.)

Yesterday, I saw a bumper sticker that stated: “Of course I don’t have cash, I’m MARRIED.”

13. They’re not trying to commit suicide, they are just crossing the street.

Sometime I wonder if some of the people crossing the crazy streets here are TRYING to commit suicide. My heart drops every time a person does a James Bond move and crosses in front of our car. Sad thing is, they are really ABOUT to get hit! It’s not some thing that you have to get used to… it’s just that they are really about to die.

I will post pictures and videos soon, inshaAllah.

The following is a feature story I wrote last year. Until today, I continue to think about her story:

LSU custodian escapes bombs and lives to tell story

BATON ROUGE, La. – Oct. 18, 2007- To some, the rug in the living room is just for decoration. To others it’s there to keep their feet warm against the cold tiles. To Maryam Ghulam-Ali* it’s a constant reminder her terrifying past struggles.

She leaves for work everyday when her five kids come back from class. Some may see her inside the LSU engineering buildings cleaning after 3 p.m.

Most of those who see her would never be able to tell she lived what some would call a horror movie. Behind that big smile with dimpled cheeks, is a face of deep sadness for the past and fear for what the future holds.

Ghulam-Ali’s smile slowly faded as she began telling her story of her journey from war-torn Afghanistan to Baton Rouge, La.

She recalled when the Communist and the Taliban began fighting in the early 90s. “News started spreading that there was a group of so-called good Muslims that came to save us from the communist regime,” she said.

That is when the people of Afghanistan started to realize the same people they assumed would save them were the people they were now trying to escape from.

“There were bombs everywhere. A lot of people stealing things and the Taliban and Communist would kidnap girls and rape them,” she said.

“We always would hear how the girls would send letters home to tell their parents of their ware bouts, but the parents could never go to their daughters because of the danger involved in doing so.”

Ghulam-Ali’s husband always traveled on the road doing business. At the time when the bombing became more and more intense, she was nine months pregnant. Her husband tried to come back toward the end of her pregnancy term, but couldn’t because the roads were all blocked due to the fighting.

“One night around 7 p.m., I started to get intense stomach pains. I was so scared because I had no one with me. I only had my four young kids in a dark house,” she said.

She told her daughter, Malika Ghulam-Ali, who was only 5 years old at the time to run to the neighbor’s house and get help. Her neighbor came quickly knowing it could have something to do with her pregnancy.

“She was shocked and scared. She told me ‘Why now with all the bombs outside and the roads blocked without doctors?’ I was in so much pain at that time,” said Ghulam-Ali.

Luckily, her neighbor knew of a nurse that lived only two blocks away and hurried to go get her.

“She came with her supplies and a small lantern because of how dark it was. They put plastic under me and a blanket. The nurse gave me a shot, told me to walk for five minutes, and then I lied down and she pushed my stomach and the baby came out.”

Two days later, things got so bad for them in the city of Kabul, that a distant relative of her husband called and told them of their plan to escape to another state in Afghanistan.

Many of her family members had already escaped to Russia, India, Pakistan, and Iran.

“My husband was a business man. He used to drive trucks. So he was always away and we needed to try to escape,” she said.

The plan involved Ghulam-Ali and her four children at the time to walk to a bus station five miles away at the break of dawn to avoid anyone seeing them. It was there that they would meet with her husband’s distant relatives and escape to the state of Baghlam, Afghanistan.

“It was like walking from Wal-Mart on Siegen to the library on Blubonnet.”

Her children at that time were very young Malika ,5, her sister Tahmina ,4, their brother Mustafa ,2, and 3 days old Zahrafshan Ghulam-Ali accompanied their mom on the journey.

“I held Zahrafshan, while my three other kids walked. They were in pain from walking so much and it was extremely difficult but we had to leave. They walked slowly and cried a lot,” she said.

Two hours later they arrived at the bus station, bought their tickets and were on their way.

“We couldn’t take the main roads because they were blocked and too dangerous. So we escaped to Baghlam through the mountains. We went around the mountains until we got there,” She said.

Her family stayed in Baghlam for three years until they re-located to Pakistan because the fighting began to emerge there as well.

The month before they left for Pakistan, Maryam Ghulam-Ali, had her fifth child, Mugtabah.

“During that time, you had the Taliban telling everyone that for three days, no one should go outside or they will be killed. We couldn’t go get water, food or anything else.”

During those three days, it was the last time she heard from her husband. He was away on business and after that no one knew anything about him.

“We don’t know if he got killed or if he was kid-napped or what. We still don’t know if he is alive or not today,” she said.

With five children she had no time to deeply grieve. She just wanted to keep them safe. They escaped to Pakistan.

In Pakistan life was a little better. A local Mosque run by Iraqis took them in and found them an apartment to live in and found the kids jobs. For the next couple of months Malika, Tahmina, and Mustafa would make rugs for a living.

The kids would get trained and later became very skilled at making the rugs. “It was extremely hard work. I was only seven at that time. Malika was 11 years old and Tahmina was 10 years old,” said Mustafa.

“Because I was so young, our boss didn’t pay me. He only paid my sisters. That made me very angry and I went to complain but he hit me on my hands,” said Mustafa.

He went home and told his mother what happened and told her he wanted to quit. “I was so shocked that I went and took my other two kids home and they all quit their job,” Ghulam-Ali said. “We decided to make our own rug business and sell them, and that worked out.”

She pointed to the rugs they made on her living room floor. One was made of soft wool with a lot of calm cream and green colors, while the other was equally exquisite in its beauty.

“I cried a lot during that time because my kids had to work and couldn’t go to school. They also had to take off their shoes and use it as a pillow to sleep on,” she said.

“I don’t cry often, but when I remember some of the things we went through, I have to start crying,” added Mustafa.

It was in Pakistan, she was informed of the UN office. She went there seeking help. She had to take a series of interviews, including health exams for her and her children. At the end of the process they gave her tickets and passports to America.

“I cried so much that day. My kids didn’t know where we were going. And none of us knew English. But I was happy,” she said.

In August 2001 Ghulam-Ali and her five children arrived in Baton Rouge, La. Immigration officers moved her to a small apt. on Brightside Drive with only three spoons, one pillow, and a couch that wreaked so badly it make her children sick. The local mosque on West Chimes Street then stepped in and provided them with everything they needed.

Today, Ghulam-Ali’s five children are in school; the oldest two in college on scholarships, one in high school, and two in middle school. Three of her children have jobs on the side.

The family has an apartment fully furnished with beds for everyone to sleep on and they always come home to food on the table.

Ghulam-Ali will take her citizenship test for the second time this winter after failing the first time due to not knowing what it meant to have the right to bare arms. “I was confused I thought they were talking about bears -like the animal- and their arms,” she said laughingly.

*Not her real last name, so for the purpose of the article I gave her husband’s last name. This article is one year old.