This article was submitted by Br. Faisal Tabassum, a member of my PR team who is currently studying Journalism at a university in the UK. Jazak Allah khair Br. Faisal for the submission.

Bismillah,

After recent news stories, I felt compelled to show you some typical techniques the mainstream media uses to make Islam look like its teachings belong back in the jungle with Tarzan. Insha’allah (God willing) these totally exposed blunders will make you a bit more perceptive to its ever increasing evil eye. Especially if you are Non Muslim – Here’s something they forgot to teach you in high school…

Number 1 – The Naming Blunder

The article is here.

Firstly I am pretty sure author ‘Mohamed Mohamed’ didn’t go to Islamic school when he was younger, as he definitely wouldn’t have learnt he is an ‘Islamist’. Muslims only found out this word when the media introduced it to us!

As you can see, the Media occasionally likes to create its own words. A bit like a chef who’s experimenting for the first time. Take for example Chef Ramzi:

Chef Ramzi: “Hmm, let’s see what ingredients I have to cook today.”

Ingredients – Extreme + Radicalist + Islam.

Chef Ramzi: “OK, let me see…”

*Chop Chop, Mix Mix, Swirl Swirl.*
*Covers with cling film…*
*Lets it settle for 20 minutes…*

Chef Ramzi: “… Islamist! There you have it! Perfect. No one will notice this!”

…Don’t be fooled.

Amongst other techniques used in this article are:

The Subheadings: ‘Law and Order‘, ‘Fear‘, ‘Death threats‘, ‘Not Islamic‘ – Coincidence? You better believe otherwise! These are there to psychologically scare a person into believing the dreaded Islam is: ‘coming soon to a village near you‘ so to speak, if you don’t do something about it.

At this point I’d like to say that:

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should not hurt his neighbour and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should serve his guest generously and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should talk what is good or keep quiet.(i.e. abstain from all kinds of evil and dirty talk) “

[Narrated by Abu Huraira, Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 8, Number 158]

I guess you should be afraid…

Number 2 – Statistics Show.

Statistics from this article reassure you that this overwhelming focus on Islam in the media isn’t a coincidence. “Where did all this sudden ‘radical Islam’ and terrorism come from?” I hear you cry. The answer is the same place ‘Islamist’ came from – Islam has become a nice target since September 11^th.

We get so much coverage that even Hindus’ and Sikhs’ are now complaining we get all the air time. Jeez guys – you can have it all back!

Number of faith programmes since 2001 the BBC has produced for:

Sikhism: 1
Hinduism: 5
Islam: 41

Seems like a much clearer pattern don’t you think?

Number 3 – Muslims get terrorised too – you just don’t hear about it.

Try and find this article in the mainstream newspaper. Yes you’ll be searching all year!

I know the person who wrote this article personally, so it is no fake. He also confirmed he attended all the court hearings. This very month marks the end of an innocent Muslim, Hassan Mutegombwa‘s first of 10 years in prison. Simply for saying “Insha Allah” (God Willing).

Please note his brother, Yassin Mutegombwa, does have some connection to terrorist activity, but he himself has done nothing and has no relation to what his brother does.

(You can find more information on this case by reading the report issued by Metropolitan Police.)

The above report shows no real evidence to prove he was guilty, just suspicions.

Note: they say he was going to do ‘hidra’ – It’s actually spelt ‘hijra’ and it means migration, so he was going to Uganda and staying there.

This is what the BBC and CNN should be reporting on – injustice – One of the main topics that makes an article newsworthy. Instead it is found on an American News Website virtually unknown to the UK general public. But maybe we can let them off this time. I mean, maybe they didn’t know about this story?

No way hosé.

The BBC did report on this case, when they were originally charged for terror offences (which later resulted in no proof but still a sentencing for 10 years).

So what does all this mean?

It shows that if you want to know about Islam and you ask someone who has only heard about it from the mainstream Media, they will most certainly tell you what the media has told them (which we have shown is mostly fear and misconceptions) and not what Islam really is.

That’s why we recommend you to ask the knowledgeable Muslims about Islam, and not the media (or Chef Ramzi!).

When you ask a Muslim about his religion, or even read about it yourself from recommended sites, you will be surprised at how much it differs from the jargon the media makes it out to be. So much so, that you may even be bedazzled!

With this approach, I pray you come to appreciate the beauty of Islam.

Faisal Tabassum.

A portion of the hits that come to any blog come from general searches. People type in keywords in Google and in the search results somewhere down the line, they see our site and click on it.

Often times, I like to see what people typed in to come to my blog and below I’ve listed some of the “more puzzling” and often bizarre ones:

effect of the turkish noor series on the egyptian society

facebook haram

i took off my hijab

i took off the hijab

hijabi girl porn (WHAT?!)

hijabi girls porn

kill mickey mouse

“khalid diab”

“off your hijab”

and the list goes on and on….

This post can be both entertaining but very sad at the same time. Subhanallah, going through the past 100+ keywords was kind of disheartening to me.

If I were to say the top three issues that dominate what Muslims are searching for online are 1. Hijab and taking off hijab issues. 2. Virginity 3. Porn

Oh and if I have to add a #4- The Turkish soap opera Nour. Seriously people get a life!

Although I have no idea what links porn to egyptiangumbo, it’s still just sad to see what people are afflicted with. I guess I realize there is a need to write about some of these issues, so that at least when they end up here, they’ll have some naseeha to go away with.

On a lighter note, I had to have busted out laughing about 10 times reading some of these key words.

What kind of puzzles me is why people would search for “hijabi porn” or “niqaabi porn” what’s the difference between that and regular pornography?

Anyway, remember people, “Marrying an Egyptian is dangerous.”

I’m actually very hesitant in posting this, but I figured It’d be my post about marriage, before I write about why people should stop writing about marriage, because it’s kind of annoying now. That post will be so much better than this!

While this isn’t a rebuttal of Br. Haytham’s post there are some things from the POV of a sister that I feel brothers just are clueless about. In fact, I think brothers are usually about 90% clueless when it comes to the female brain, but let’s take baby steps in helping them on their roadmap to marriage:

Let’s be frank here — we as a Western society are picky when it comes to our marriage choices. Things aren’t as simplified as they used to be. Whether that’s good or bad is not the issue.

In keeping with the spirit of Br. Haytham’s post, I’ll keep to the outline he’s listed for the pre-marriage issues: Parents of prospective husband, prospective husband and our own insecurities:

Our view about parents of prospective husband:

Guys are terrified of fathers. Women are equally terrified of mothers. Let’s face it — some of the biggest problems after marriage originate between the wife and her mother-in-law.

Before we meet your mom, we make dua’a that she is very nice and not too over-bearing with high expectations of us when it comes to cooking and babying her son; and not to mention we hope she isn’t too critical of our looks.

And unless we are pretty traditional from certain backgrounds, there is no way we want to live with the brother’s family after marriage; especially if we grew up in the West.

It’s not about us being afflicted with this whole “Western Aggressive Girl Syndrome.” It’s just the reality of how we feel. Now that’s not to say that a sister will not be respectful of a guy’s mom. Truly, if a sister fears Allah, she will be very, very respectful to your mother regardless of whether or not she disagrees with her.

But that doesn’t take away from the fact that we are terrified before we meet your mothers. And generally, we tend to have no issues with the father at all.

Our view about the prospective husband:

Many of br. Haytham’s qualities he listed that brothers look for in sisters can go for both ways. The points I’m about to list are not in order of importance, but figured i’d offer a little different side when it comes to the sister’s POV:

1– Sisters look for good looks too. Although we are more flexible when it comes to looks, we definitely have to be attracted to the guy. We don’t necessarily need supermodels. Just follow the sunnah, and naturally iman and noor on your face will make you more attractive.

2—Maturity- we want you to be charismatic, not stiff, but mature. Show us you’re ready mentally to get married and take care of a family.

3—Religiosity—much like guys want their future wife to have the eagerness to learn the deen, it’s even more stressed on our side. Most sisters want a brother who is on the same level deen wise or above. We want someone we can look up to, because this encourages us to be better.

4—Dressed Islamically- Yes, that’s right — religious girls like beards! Contrary to popular belief, we are not scared of them, and in fact that’s one of our main concerns up front. I guess it’s the leeway in knowing and finding out about the brother’s religious mentality.

On a side note, one of my personal, biggest pet peeves is when a brother trims his beard really short for unacceptable reasons.

I always hear of cases from sisters where a brother says he shaves his beard for fear of airport security. And if you ask him what opinion he follows, and he usually responds that it’s haram to trim it or to trim anything more than fist length.

But even worse than that is when he shaves it because his mom doesn’t like the way it looks on him. Brothers, this is your hijab. If you follow an opinion, be firm on it. It shows weakness to us when you do this, especially because we as sisters wearing full hijab have much bigger pressure than you do when it comes to outside scrutiny of our attire.

5—Someone to find comfort in—we definitely want not only a husband, but a best friend. We want someone to console in and that will not only listen to us when we are down, but to tell us words that will make us feel better. Analyze the situation with us, and give us “words of wisdom.”

Usually, this is a “gamble” because we really can’t tell if this quality exists in a brother before marriage.

6—Knows how to treat his wife kindly and with respect—there’s a difference between being the man of the house, and being the prison guard. We don’t want the “What I say goes!” type of brother.

7—Has to be more intelligent than us to a certain degree—we don’t want to feel smarter than our husbands. You must be able to hold an intelligent conversation and know about things we don’t know anything about.

8—Too sensitive is too feminine—some girls like sensitive guys. But some guys take that too far. Believe it or not there are a lot of guys out there that love to spill what they are “feeling” all the time. We want someone masculine, but not afraid to say what’s wrong if they are upset. Just don’t cry me a river every time.

9—Jealousy- we definitely want the same from brothers as they want from sisters. We want to feel like we are special and protected. But don’t be too over-bearing in your jealousy. I know sisters whose husbands are so jealous they hardly let their wives go out of the house, even if it’s with other good sisters. Again, be a husband, not a prison guard.

10– Demeanor- the way your carry yourself is what makes you attractive. Carry yourself with respect and confidence. We view confidence as being very attractive. Seriously, a guy doesn’t have to be that physically attractive, but if he is confident it really can make a guy stand tall in our eyes. Finally, be respectful but also be fun.

Oh, and definitely a #11

11- Chivalry is not dead! Girls love chivalry. We want our husbands to open doors for us, surprise us every once in a while, give us their jackets when we’re cold. This is something almost ever girl loves.

Finally, our view of our own insecurities:

We are very self-conscious about our looks even the girls that know they are somewhat attractive. We are scared that when the brother sees us for the first time, and if he’s not interested we always think it’s about our looks- even if he states other reasons.

After all, we definitely want the one person who will see us without our niqaab or hijab to be the one who thinks we are the most beautiful.

A little secret—most girls don’t know how to cook in the beginning of marriage. But we learn. We’re also insecure about that. We know we can’t match your mom’s cooking yet, but give us time.

Wallahu alem.

-Egyptian Gumbo

Disclaimer: This post is in no way, shape or form an advertisement for marriage. I’m simply responding the post on Muslim Matters because I don’t see anything previously out there complied into one post about this issue from a sister’s POV. This is not to say that all these things are what I personally see or feel, but I believe it represents a lot of sisters as a whole. I know there will be some sisters that disagree. And again, these are general, not necessarily what I think or don’t think.