This post is for all of those brothers and sisters who are thinking about approaching someone for 
marriage.Take heed from this post. Do everything differently from what these guys did.
I was thinking about the typical harassment in Egypt and wondering how guys keep trying over and over again to use the same pick up lines with no avail. And I started wondering out of how many times they harass a girl, how many actually amount to anything more than a girl hitting the guy with her purse. “Hmm…,” I wondered. I also was curious if at any point in time it resulted in the harasser marrying the harassed.
That led me to think about bad marriage proposals, but I thought it’d make for a good post.
I asked a couple of friends to share any stories they may have about them or someone they know. I’ll list a couple here, but I’d be very interested in hearing stories from the rest of you in the comments section.
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1. “The Choo Choo” sister.
A friend of mine told me this story of a brother who was interested in his friend’s sister. He convinced his friend to let him “observe” the sister in her natural surroundings by letting him hide behind a door in his 
house. The interested brother hid, while his friend sat down and called his sister to make him some tea.
The girl went into the kitchen made the tea, and as she was coming with the tea she started to head towards her brother making ‘train noises.’ “Chooo choooo,” the sister came howled as she came toward her brother.
By this time both the interested brother and his friend were trying as hard as they could not to laugh. As soon as the girl left the room, they busted out laughing.
If i were that sister I would have killed my brother, if I had one.
2. The Bollywood Big Shot
A friend of mine related this story to me:
“Thankfully, my parents never put me in a rishta-like situation after the first one went disastrous:
My mom was being super nice to me, and so my sister and I got really suspicious –my mom’s generally a sweet and jolly lady, mashaAllah, but it was a little off this time. Anyway, next thing we know some limo pulls up in front of our house and it’s this dude my dad knows - guy doesn’t even drive it on a regular basis. So after laughing till our sides ached (who pulls up in a limo?! just for the getting-to-know and check-the-larhki-out?!), we snook out of the house, hopped into my sister’s car and didn’t come home till late in the evening when we were sure mr.im-oh-so-impressive would be gone. so aside from the bummy look as totally not attractive, overdoing it on the bling-bling side is a bit of a throw-off (if not ridiculous), too 
4. The Playing Hoops Brother.
There was a brother who went to go propose to a sister. When he came to meet the parents, not only was he extremely nervous as he was sweating like crazy, but he looked like he just came back from playing basketball because he had jeans, a t-shirt, and tennis shoes on. Not only that, he had the nerve to be “In a rush because he had to go somewhere.”
Needless to say, the answer was no.
5. The Single Guy in New York.
A brother approached a sister but wanting to get married ASAP, meaning like two weeks from when he started emailing her. The sister was in no rush and likewise couldn’t move in with the brother even if she wanted because she lived far and had to finish college. She was to be done in only a year. He told her that a year was wayyyy too long and that he’s a single guy living in New York. And although the girl was “Everything he would look for in a wife” he told her he didn’t want to come see her because if he liked her, he didn’t want to be “stuck” in an engagement just in case he found someone who was willing to get married sooner.
So the brother told her that if in another year he doesn’t find someone, he’ll come back. (!!!!!!!!) Not only did the sister laugh really hard and sent him an email telling him he’s got to be kidding (not to even bother), the sister also gave him naseeha telling him not to ever tell another sister something like that, or else he’ll have a hard time getting married.
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Brothers, if you want to propose to a sister, please don’t do what these guys did. I want to hear all your stories if you have any that happened to you or a friend of yours. Please don’t put any names. Enjoy 
Stumble it!
September 6th, 2008 at 2:21 am
shirien ur CRAZY!
TIP FOR ALL THE BROS AND SISS OUT THERE:
when i ask you to tell me about ur self i really dont expect you to tell me “oh i was able to book a hotel for 20000 people for this or that convention” ….although that is GREAT…how does that answer my question? how is booking a big hotel room gonna help ME in our marriage life?!…talk to me about yourself…and about YOUR own personal goals and accomplishments…For YOUR development…
Those are my two cents …Wallahu Allam
September 6th, 2008 at 4:03 am
I went to see a sister, it was just my mother, my sister, and her mother. Well, the girl shows up in Niqaab, twenty minutes later she debated the obligation of praying at the mosque.
If you are a Niqabi, please don’t show up in a Niqab. Oh, and leave Fiqh discussions out of the first meeting.
__
I met another sister in the presence of her family, and well, she seemed to agree with everything I had to say. I felt there is some potential. Met her a second time, but this time I wanted her to do the talking. Surprise, surprise! She didn’t have much to say. I guess, she just wanted to get married.
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One father rejected me for my beautiful beard. It was baffling because the sister saw my beard beforehand.
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I also had a fair of “polite” rejections, one family was like, “Her relative JUST proposed to her, sorry!”
There was also this girl who felt I looked “too old”, when I was only 2 years older than her.
_______
September 6th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Na3jah, lol seems like you had a bad experience.
what i dont get is why families in some cultures like to give the guy or girl’s full “resume” to the potential suitor. We all know they are looking for 3 things. 1. are they a doctor 2. are their parents doctors 3. are their uncles and aunts also doctors.
B, subhanallah the beard situation happens a lot, especially with the parents. Parents sometimes care more about the looks of the suitor than the one wanting to get married. And beards these days are “extreme” to a lot of them.
Niqaab, I can understand why the sister came out in niqaab at first - perhaps she didnt know who else would be there- but keeping it on the WHOLE time, that’s definitely makes making a decision tougher
nice stories lol bring them on…
September 6th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
I’m out on this one, maybe if you do this post in a few years time, i may have a few for you.
Hopefully not… I’m hoping it’s a smooth ride, bi’idhnillahi ta’ala.
May Allah protect me. Ameen.
The stories are amusing though.
September 6th, 2008 at 10:28 pm
I wanted to marry this one girl who I thought was perfect and she felt the same about me… everything was going well, but to make a long story short, she choose the guy with the mansion and benz parked outside. Heart broken but Alhumdulillah.
September 7th, 2008 at 12:46 am
Ms Perfect…I hope you didn’t want to marry a girl…unless you ment to type your name as >>MR<< Perfect.
September 7th, 2008 at 2:10 am
LOL… funny stories!!
September 7th, 2008 at 9:36 am
ummm…B, she doesnt have to take off her Niqab unless SHE feels comfortable…an honestly i give her mad props bc c…i ddint work out…sooo its obvious u didnt have to see her in the first place…
plz keep in mind that girls are very nervous and shy when it comes to this stuff… and they expect men to be understanding and take it easy….
September 7th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Jazak Allahukhair brother, that is what I meant.
September 7th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
I know a girl who comes from a family of about 20 siblings, no lie.
Anyway a young suitor asked her brother about marrying any of his sisters and wanted to know who might be the best match for him.
so my friend’s brother said: well so-and-so is available, she is in college…
But the suitor interrupted: well you know actually I am looking for someone who, you know, aint that smart…
needless to say, my friend’s brother ignored the suitor after that. I mean what was he supposed to say: “Oh marry my sister bon-qui-esha she is reeeealllly dumb!” ?
September 7th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
A few months back I had a brother email me who told me he wanted to marry me, after politely declining his request, he sent me another email telling me that he’s going to talk to his uncle in turkey to get advice on how to make it work. :/ lol. I’m like wait… what?!
So I had to resort to a more direct and not as polite way of telling him it wouldn’t work out.
September 7th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
Bayyinah, that guy has some nerve. poor guy probably had no idea how bad that sounded. lol.
September 10th, 2008 at 4:31 am
@ Na3jah!
Dude.. if a man was able to book a hotel for 2000 people that should tell you a lot..
1) He knows how to organize events which means that its highly expected to know how to organize his life
2) He knows how to deal with people and make deals. Which means that he is a good businessman which is a good character
3) He has connections. A man who deals with such big sums of money must know other influential people around him
4) He is a leader. See, if he was the person who is ushering people around (nothing wrong with that btw, or even the man who is managing people who usher people for example) he would be a manager .. a person who follow the rules… but if he is the one who is setting those rules, then he is a leader.. big difference
.. as you can see.. this one statement can mean alot.. now i agree with you that this isnt the only thing a brotha should say.. but nonetheless, its one of the things that he should say ..
September 10th, 2008 at 4:38 am
He got a point, na3jaty. It’s pretty impressive. But then again, I’m pretty impressed by people who can organize because I know just how much work it takes. A lot of PR work is organizing events, it takes a lot out of a person. Subhanallah.
September 12th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
lol mashaAllah these were hilarious.
I have a couple that i’d like to share
The most horrible one is when I was sitting in a halal joint with my friend, and I was on the phone so this super old brother (no offense, but I was 18 and he had to be at least 40) and he goes up to my friend and says: are you her mom **pointing to me**? (my friend is like 27 :-/) and she’s like no…and he’s like, yea I want to marry her. My friend says, um you’ll have to talk to her parents. And then this brother goes into all these questions and reasons why he needs to marry me…while i’m sitting there.
Another time, subhanAllah this is just weird though…at a JANAZAH prayer. A brother (who again, was like 35) was bothering my friend for 3 months to get my contact info, and I had no idea. She finally told me and I thought she was joking lol.
Another story that happened to my friend when the brother came to her house…I think he asked to see her feet lol. (creeeeppyyyy)
September 12th, 2008 at 10:19 pm
funny stuff! lol! i guess it’s as crazy as my bro says!
1 time my bro went to c this girl n the thing is by the will of Allah, he’s got verrrrry small beard! so the girl was pounding on him wat sort of preacher is he that he tells other ppl wat 2 do but doesn’t even do the basic obligations himself. my poor bro told her i’m naturally like this, Allah made me this way. she flipped even more n was like how dare u blame Allah for ur sins! lol!!! so my bro was like thank u very much i’ve had enough now n left.
once this lady asked my mom regarding my bro n goes ur son can fix my neice, we try so hard 2 make her pray. so my mom told her my son’s not a mechanic! looooool! u shud’ve seen that lady’s face! huhhhh?
September 13th, 2008 at 5:42 am
So I was interested in a sister who did not share the same background/culture as me. I am desi and she is arab. But I thought my parents would never agree to this and I had a guilty feeling that talking to her isn’t right so I let her know what my feelings were. She was like I don’t know about marriage now (she was 18 at that time) but can we still be friends and I said no, it couldn’t be possible. One of my very good friends knew about this situation and he came to know that I gave up the idea. So SubhanAllah he approaches the same sister and out of nowhere asks her for marriage and she agrees but tells him that he (or his family) need to talk to her dad. Now her dad rejected the proposal because he wants someone arab (and probably a cousin) for her.
My problem was with both of them. I was feeling cheated by both of them. I think I don’t care anymore and me and him are still very good friends. But is it ok to still feel bad about it? Or am I being too sensitive about the situation? Please let me know.
PS: I like ‘em stories
September 13th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
lol sister, that’s really bad for someone to be inquiring at a janaza. man.
the feet thing is kind of creepy lol. I dont know how i would feel if a brother wanted to just see my feet. I think i’d be weirded out. He has a right to ask, but it’s just still too weird.
Tasnim, nice stories :). I tend to feel bad for guys that get judged for their beards when they really have no control over it. lol.
Not Kool,
I can understand why you are angry or upset. But if you look at it from an Islamic Perspective, your friend did not do anything haram by asking for the girl’s hand in marriage, since it was established that it didnt work out for you two and she was not currently being asked by another brother. (by the way you told the story)
Wallahu alem. I understand why you can feel upset, but remember this is Ramadan, now is better a time than ever to have mercy and forgive people for any wrong they have done to you. For Allah ‘az wa jal will also have mercy and forgiveness unto you. inshaAllah.
And inshaallah once you have someone else that you pursue, you will soon forget all of it and not have any bitterness toward the situation. wallahu alem.
that is just my humble opinion.
September 18th, 2008 at 8:34 am
Its funny how the marriage bug bites everyone as soon as Ramadan hits…
go pray and read quran. I wouldnt marry any of you.
September 18th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
right, because all of us girls really want to marry someone who lacks simple manners in speaking.
September 18th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
Girls should not be allowed to post on the internet without their Mahrams supervising them.
September 18th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
not Kool,
If I were you,
I would confront my friend and tell him exactly how I feel. If he acts like an insensitive jerk without admitting any wrong doing. I’d drop him. True friendship shows up in these situations.
Besides, he may have not known the extent of your involvement with the lady. Or maybe he is socially immature. And so, he can be forgiven.
October 19th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
asSalaam’alaykum wa Rahmatullah,
i usually leave a few articles to actually read them later when im in the mood for them/have time…and this was one of them…..
pretty hilarious….specially #1
#4 - I’m pretty sure he had to be at a b-ball tournament somewhere
@haytham’s post- if only all that was always true for a brother that booked a hotel for 2000-20000 ppl…..that;s nto always the case..
October 19th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
When I first started college, I worked at the bookstore on campus. It was my first job and alhamdulillaah no one ever said anything about my hijab, everyone was cool.
So anyways, one day this guy (must’ve been atleast 30, prolly 35 or so, he was balding for goodness sake - I had just turned 17) starts asking me where I’m from and whatnot and of course, I was used to this from other Muslims (salaams always start conversations). I didn’t even think anything of it, I was just replying and scanning his items and then he starts telling me “I’m looking for a wife” and I told him “Oh I hope that works out for you”. He kept giving little hints and I kept acting completely unaware of anything and then my manager was standing there next to and noticed how uncomfortable I was and asked if I wanted to go on break (He’d paid and everything, he just wouldn’t leave) and I jumped at the chance alhamdulillaah. But yeah, it was really creepy. To add to that creepiness, when it was almost time to leave, I saw him standing outside the bookstore and I totally freaked out. My manager offered to have the campus police escort me to my car, but I told her it wasn’t necessary and I had my mom come in and get me. Alhamdulillaah he didnt approach my mom, she would’ve given him a piece of her mind.
October 20th, 2008 at 2:32 am
lol If he had to be a b-ball tournament, why in the world would he plan to meet a potential spouse and her family right before that. Which is exactly why I have to say “Oh Brother”
lol BintWadee3, that reminds me of something similar that happened to me at a grocery store once… the guy wasnt muslim though.
I was basically with 2 friends of mine buying some things quickly, but then it started to rain really hard outside so we had already purchased our items.. but we had no umbrella, and rain in Baton Rouge is typical, it’ll rain really really hard one min then stop raining the next..
So we decided to stand next to the doorway of the supermarket until the rain lightened up, along with a lot of other shoppers..
one of my friends said they didnt want to wait and they would bring the car around.. so while they were doing that.. an older man maybe in his like 50s with teeth broken.. comes up to me and was like where are you from? and I’m like “Egypt” and he’s come up closer and is like “how do you say you are very beautiful in Egyptian?”
At that point I was creeped out.. so I was like “Sorry! I dont speak egyptian!” and I start running to the car where my friend was lol and i turn back and say “I speak arabic!”
lol that had to be like 4 years ago… good times good times.
October 20th, 2008 at 6:10 am
“Sorry! I dont speak egyptian!” and I start running to the car where my friend was lol and i turn back and say “I speak arabic!”
LOL!!! Genius! May Allaah (Subhaanahu wa ta3aala) protect us all from creepy men (young and old). Ameen.
October 20th, 2008 at 11:34 am
Ameen!
LOL.
I’m keeping my name anonymous for this next story Shirien
SubhanAllah I have a creepy man story too…and he was non Muslim. It was in the school library (before niqaab walhamdulillah) and he comes up to me and says “do you believe in Malcolm X?” me: umm, I understand your question, can you explain? Then he doesn’t even answer the question and says, ‘why are you wearing that?’ and the dude TOUCHES my hijaab and I move away and I say, I’m Muslim and then he cuts me off and goes: girl, i’m tryna holla at you! can I get your number??
:-O <–that was my face..for about 2 mins lol. There was this guy sitting near by and he was chuckling to himself and I just replied..no..i’m sorry **continues to mumble**. Then he was like, ok maybe another time and walked away.
subhanAllah it wasn’t that I couldn’t say NO and explain, I was just very shocked! A non muslim dude asking out a hijaabi sister! Thought it would never happen to me. This was like 2 yrs ago.
Not to mention the guy was completely ghetto…he had dreads, a baseball cap AND on top of that he was sucking on a lolipop! lol! Could it get any worse subhanAllah.
October 20th, 2008 at 11:55 am
HAHAHA. that story cracked me up. lol especially the lolipop haha.
you must live in the south, that’s all the ghetto guys here lol.
you should have been like you want my number? it;s “Na fa fo, fo fo na fa” (954-4495) lol
October 21st, 2008 at 1:08 am
lol, i’m in Maryland!
lool at the number…
October 21st, 2008 at 1:31 am
funny stories! but u knw even girls can be crazy too! 2wks ago my bro gave lecture at the med school here n then this 1 dentist girl (muslim too!) comz up to him after his talk n says “i’d luv to go out on a date with sum1 like u, just tired of the doctors, who knws u may be good husband material”!
there r sum wild ppl out there!
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:17 pm
hahah #28 - thats how it is in the south…never noticed that tho…crazy
October 23rd, 2008 at 4:04 am
lol, freaky! SubHaan Allaah. It’s not good, but I’m laughing at this!
I heard some bad ones too! Creepy brothers… Scary!!