Pshh, C’mon…You Know It’s True — Part 1
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“You Know it’s True,” is a new series I’m starting. It’s basically everything that everyone notices but no one ever talk
s about… until now.
This “You Know it’s True” post is about: The Masjid.
1. Brothers wish the sisters in the masjid would stay quiet. Women talk to much.
2. Mama, if your child is crying during salah, it’s OK to pick the baby up– please, prevent the distractions if you can. You can tell when most of us are annoyed after salah, because as soon as we do our tasleem it’s all eyes on baby… and mama.
3. We all want people to stop stepping on our feet. When we’re in line in salah, please stop stepping on my feet. And when I move my foot away, for some reason you feel the need step on it again. There is a reason I moved it away!
4. Sisters, you too, are not supposed to talk during the Jummah Khutbah– and yes that includes the time when people stand up for salah — not a time for chitty-chatty.
5. Sisters again, please don’t enter the masalah if you cannot pray. Sitting down and listening to the lecture in the masalah area and then going outside when salah starts is still wrong.
6. The masjid is usually completely separated until it comes to parking lot time. And while there is no interaction between the sexes (for the most part) everyone is standing outside searching for their spouses or future spouses. Stop guys, just stop.
7. Most of us cringe when we find someone that comes to the masjid interested in Islam and when we ask, “What got you interested?” The girl responds, “Oh my boyfriend is a Muslim.” Brothers, if you have a girlfriend and bring her to Islam, we’ll find out who you are through her randomly telling us your name. So no matter how secretive you are about it, she’ll accidentally expose you. Trust me, happens all the time. Her sins will be erased and you in turn, are in troubllleee.
8. There’s always this one sister or brother you really hope you don’t end up standing next to in salah. You love them, but they just distract you in prayer with either their swaying, their whispers or their attachment to your hip.
9. The line does not start at the very right of the masjid — unless the imam is standing there. Please stop trying to drag us away from our ajr. The line starts directly behind the imam, even for sisters. So stop pulling my clothes, please… you stretched them 
.
10. Every masjid has board problems. No matter where you are, your masjid has “politics.”
11. If you’re Egyptian, please stop reading the Quran in Egyptian dialect. If you’re desi, it’s “‘A’oothu,” not “‘A’oozu.”
12. Kids in the masjid are crazy no matter which masjid you go to.
13. Sisters, it’s kinda embarrassing when you cut off the speaker and yell really loudly from behind the divider or the 2nd floor “Excuse me, the sisters can’t hear!” Solution: get one of the crazy kids running around to tell someone on the brother’s side the problem.
14. There is always a car illegally parked outside.
15. There always has to be a basketball net outside for brothers to play.
16. Some people’s socks are stanky, with a capital STANK.
17. Masjid bathrooms are like public bathrooms (unfortunately.)
18. No one wants to hear that Arab song or techno in the Masjid. No matter how many times the imam reminds people to “turn off cell phones” a cell phone will always go off, and people will get mad.
19. There’s always someone that brings a prayer rug, even if the carpet is perfectly clean. Really guys, you don’t need a prayer rug.
20. There will always be sisters in every masjid who demand to have a place on the board.
You know it’s true.
I love the masjid.
Wallahu alem.
Dawud Israel Says: 04.06.08 at 5:47 am
21. You will catch your masjid executive giving slips of papers to certain ethnic groups telling who to vote for in the election.
22. You catch your masjid exec using a stolen shopping cart from Wal-Mart to move meat around.
23. The kids imitate and make fun of how the exec recites their Quran or their accents.
24. There’s a sister named Shirien sitting in the back jotting down notes on all the problems she sees or just shaking her head.
Adam Says: 04.06.08 at 5:53 am
Hahah this is all so true!
Usman Akhtar Says: 04.06.08 at 11:01 am
25) You take the effort and time to come early and sit near the front. Some late brother (or sister) comes in and searches for the best seat in the house…he eyes the most vulnerable person (usually a young brother) and sits DIRECTLY infront of him. When it’s time to stand up and pray, that young brother loses his spot and ends being squished into the back, frowning….
26) Your’e at the Jumuah khutbah, the masjid upkeep box is coming around, and people are putting in money…there’s some old uncle with a large bag of pennies taking a complete 5 minutes making the most distracting sound ever taking his time putting only a few pennies at a time. “Today in Islam…CHINK…we have to preserve our childr- CHINK…with prayer – CHINK…and Quran”
shirien Says: 04.06.08 at 4:46 pm
haha. subhanallah. nah no notes. I think i just spend more time in the masjid than a lot of people.. especially “jummah only” Muslims.
Let’s add on to this list:
27. Every masjid’s general body meeting is boring, and there are always 2 brothers that end up in each other’s faces.
Abd'Allaah Says: 04.06.08 at 5:33 pm
28) Masjid or (the greater) Muslim sisters in general are too afraid to commit to relationships, so instead they lead brothers on then drop them like its hot.
29) Masjid or (the greater) Muslim brothers in general are too immature, not ready, or just plain too ‘lost’ to even approach a serious relationship.
30) There is usually a small group of youth (like 5) at every masjid who are basically holding down the fort; You know who they are (masha’Allaah) because they take the deen seriously, spend most of their free time at/about the masjid and attend extra curricular Islaamic classes together (Tajweed, Hizb, Ahadeeth, etc).
shirien Says: 04.06.08 at 8:31 pm
” There is usually a small group of youth (like 5) at every masjid who are basically holding down the fort; You know who they are (masha’Allaah) because they take the deen seriously, spend most of their free time at/about the masjid and attend extra curricular Islaamic classes together (Tajweed, Hizb, Ahadeeth, etc).”
that’s very, very true subhanallah.
lol @ sister’s “dropping brothers like it’s hot.” however, i have to say perhaps it’s no so much as them not wanting to commit to a relationship as it is (like you said in your next point) the brother is just immature
31. while there are about 5 really committed youth (boy and girls) there are also those 5 teenagers that always skip out on the lectures and socialize outside.
Alima Says: 04.06.08 at 10:17 pm
32) Sometimes they just don’t let you in the masjid
‘If you’re desi, it’s “‘A’oothu,” not “‘A’oozu.”’
So true!
No, no it’s a’oodhu, i could say that all day and they still don’t get it lol. May Allah bless them.
HK Says: 04.06.08 at 11:13 pm
LOL@ “u stretched them” – yes, i wish ppl would realize the knee-to-knee, ankles-to-ankles is just a means of straightening the lines, not a permanent position to be in throughout salaat!
genieyclo Says: 05.06.08 at 12:31 am
lol, I love this list.
PS: My scheming mind is already thinking up ways to make things to solve these problems with profit in them…CHINK, CHINK indeed!
shirien Says: 05.06.08 at 1:53 am
lol Alima, they do let you stay at the masjid?! hmm I don’t know if this is a common problem or if they just ban you from all their masajid
hehe we all know how much of a trouble maker you are.
Hafsa, yeah the position to stand is with regard to the shoulders, especially with women. our feet should be directly under our shoulder blades and since men naturally have broader shoulders their feet are apart more.
Uh oh genieyclo, you’re trying to profit off of masjid politics? this wont be pretty.
Alima Says: 05.06.08 at 4:54 pm
hehe we all know how much of a trouble maker you are.
Troublemaker me never, just my community issues, don’t worry we’re on it, in the sweetest and most honourable way insha’Allah. Most masjid’s are brill, i have a fav in bham…i could sit there all day, ours in a bit different, needs young blood.
Desi? Who’s included, we don’t use this term in the uk.
shirien Says: 05.06.08 at 8:38 pm
Assalamu alaikum Imam Taufique
Barak Allahu feek for your response. You should share your knowledge here more often, barak Allahu feek.
I have a question:
With regard to what you said above, Sheikh Majdy mentioned that women should stand in a position in which the feet are directly aligned with the shoulders (like a natural standing position)
Understanding that and understanding the hadith, do women have to stand foot to foot thus making our feet father apart than directly under our shoulders?
That question was really not worded right, but inshaAllah you know what I mean.
Barak Allahu feek again.
Taufique Says: 05.06.08 at 8:46 pm
Standing that way is not just for women…even men are supposed to stand aligning their feet with their shoulders, this way they are not too spread out as to leave gaps between eachother nor are they too ‘squashed’.
There are many other Hadeeth where the Prophet (saws) said: laa takhtalifoo (do not differ) when in prayer…this differ if taken with all the other ahadeeth refers to the differing of the hearts as well as the physical differing …whether it be keeping gaps or being on top of eachother. many times, especially during Ramadaan, people just don’t want to understand that the row is full! turns out one brother has his arms on the chest of the another! being like this is also termed as “ikhtilaaf” in Salaah.
I do not like posting on sites. I am occupied with one site as it is (my sheikh’s) but InshAllah whenever I get time, I will help out as needed if you really want me to…
Assalamualaikum
shirien Says: 05.06.08 at 8:49 pm
ok Jazak Allah khair, shoot me an email with a link to your sheikh’s site inshaAllah.
Shimon Ibn Ibrahim Says: 07.06.08 at 3:28 pm
A’oothu, A’oozu, A’oodhu
It is all correct.
angela Says: 16.06.08 at 8:24 pm
7. Most of us cringe when we find someone that comes to the masjid interested in Islam and when we ask, “What got you interested?” The girl responds, “Oh my boyfriend is a Muslim.” Brothers, if you have a girlfriend and bring her to Islam, we’ll find out who you are through her randomly telling us your name. So no matter how secretive you are about it, she’ll accidentally expose you. Trust me, happens all the time. Her sins will be erased and you in turn, are in troubllleee.
____
I am curious..I do not not much about Islam, can you tell me why this would be a problem? I found your list interesting, I think that most worship services can make a similar list no matter what faith they follow. There will always be “things” that people seem to just DO that annoy all of the other people. lol
shirien Says: 16.06.08 at 8:33 pm
hey Angela,
lol that’s funny, I really thought we were the only ones with those problems hehe.
Thanks for your question!
You see, in Islam, it’s not allowed for us to “date” or have girlfriends and boyfriends. Why? because it could lead to intense desire between the two and thus have them do things that are not proper outside a marriage, like hold hands, kiss, intercourse , etc.
So the rule in Islam is that anything that leads to sin is a sin in and of itself.
And our ultimate goal is to try to worship God alone, do good deeds and abstain from the sins as much as we can.
so then arises the question…. so how do you get married, etc?
Contrary to popular beliefs, it’s not arranged (for most people). If you want to get to know someone that you’re interested in, then it should be done with the guy approaching the father of the girl for permission for the two to get to know each other.. then the two can decide whether or not they want to get married (if the father agrees)
So it’s actually kind of funny (but sad at the same time) when a girl comes and she’;s like “ohhh my boyfriend is Muslim.. ” we’re like uh oh lol. it’s like “you.. we like. Him… he’s in trouble
”
I hope that made sense
Can I ask you, what do you consider yourself as of now (religion wise)?
Rabia Says: 16.06.08 at 11:03 pm
sum nice posts u got here sis! mayb u can avoid getin bad commnts frm others by keepin it strictly islaamic. that way nonmuslims can keep lrnin n posts like dis 1 n dat music 1 can be a gud reminder for us innit
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