self cert mortgage…

I feel segregated from my non-muslim family and even was shocked one day when a Muslim brother mistook my father for my husband it was a very embarrassing moment both for my father and myself. He is a religious man so didn’t read too much into the comment, we just corrected the man, but my father I could tell was uncomfortable to be seen with me his hajabi daughter and pointed out that in fact he was not a Muslim.
Till now we can not catch up as we used to because I fear that a similar thing may happen as mush as I try not to worry about what others think but when it comes to my father I care very much for his comfort, I hold his opinion very high and appreciate his worldly knowledge, Insha allah one day he may join me in embracing Islam.

On the other hand which I wish there was a positive outcome, the only Muslim sisters that I have in my life are through my husband (his family) and because of the cultural differences I feel somewhat segregated when we get together as a family there also, I do not speak there language and they were brought to Islam at birth. Don’t get me wrong they do there best to make me feel welcome and part of the family there of good kind hearts.

So with all that is going on in my life I feel my mental state deteriorating as I fall deeper into a life of almost complete solitude of which I did not expect my life to turn out as, I thank Allah every day for my children because I know they are blessings to be appreciated, if it wasn’t for them I’m almost sure I wouldn’t have the strength to battle this world in it’s current state.

I’m not sure what posting here is going to do for me but I’m a strong believer in the idea that everything is predetermined in this life and that by Allah’s will I may get the strength I need to make an informed and positive step to the right direction.

I finally divorced my husband. I was very confused for a while about my hijab even though it helped me a lot throughout those difficult times. I took off my hijab for about 2months when I was on vacation back home. Now what? I realized that I was not as happy as I thought I would have been even thought people were always appreciating my fashion style. I felt sometimes emptiness. For my case, I rushed into wearing hijab mostly because lots of my pretty friends were wearing it and it was cute and stylish. I am glad that I took it off for a while and think it through. I am so happy and blessed that now I am doing it for the right reason and enjoying it. I was always afraid of my financial situation. I was worrying about finding a job in USA but my financial situation got way better now that I am wearing the hijab than before. I am an Electrical Engineer now and I have a great job alhamdoulilah.
Everybody has the right to be confused but let’s hope that Allah guide us and protect us from shaitan. I am praying for all my sisters that have the same problem that I had. Please don’t forget me in your prayers, may Allah help us all.

My goal is to be successful as a muslim woman and be known as such. The rest, I will let Allah decide on The day of Judgement. Rabena yesabetna koulena ISA.

Over the years, I re-evaluated the reasons of wearing the Hijab, being a convert, one of the things i love in being a muslim is that Allah orders me to use my brain. Not to be a follower but an innovator. My views as to why the veil was needed for a muslim woman started changing.

I think the decision to wear or take off the veil is very personal, not all of us will think of it the same way but it will be wrong to say that anyone who takes it off is a sinner.

Points that i am still thinking about:
1. A lot of the Quran language and writings come from a time when, the region was very hot, women were viewed as object and traded. For the verse to have been bestowed upon Prophet Muhhammad (PBUH), it happened at the right time to strengthen his battle against injustice with women at that time. Is that applicable now?

2. Many of the opinions of the different mazaheb changed over the centuries to adapt to imminent changes in world politics, evolving global issues …etc. For example, zakat el fitr, was initially obligated to be paid in the grains for many years and all the 4 mazaheb agree to it and followed it for centuries and now we pay money as this is how this matter has evolved. Does that make us sinners that we are not paying our zakat in grains? Same for lands, The Prophet (PBUH) ordained that anyone who see a piece of empty land could claim his, all the mazahebs agreed that this is applicable, but not done these days, does that make us bad muslims… and the list goes on.

3. Based on the previous 2 points, then if we live in a world where wearing the Hijab makes you a primary terrorist suspect – and NO muslim is making anything to change our image to the western world but contrary making it worse by our foolish emotional reactions to any issues. OR stop you from studying or growing and being a recognized educated person GLOBALLY! As it is primitive to talk at the country’s level at this stage since we are approaching a global village status. Sometimes people ask, why we don’t have strong muslim women in the world, ever thought it might be because of the hijab.

4. Now, do not get me wrong, I am not saying Hijab is not in our religion more than saying that shouldn’t we evolve within our religion. THE REASON why we, muslim women, are not doing what our religion tells us to, IQRA and set the example, is not longer beause of the limitations of the hijab. It is because of an ALREADY prejudiced image that 9/11 and other ongoing events has confirmed to the world. Now even before having a chance to compete, we are being dismissed because of our veil.

5. Question is, Am I willing to give up the chance of making a difference to the world for my veil? That’s where i stopped. Now, making a difference to the world, is to allow people to know ME as a muslim and respect, learn. When they see our Hijab, that’s what they see, and will not listen to you, or at least majority these days. Contrary to the idea of I have to make the people accept who I am, we are to an age where we have to make efforts to let people know what REAL Islam is about. Allah knows all intention, mine is to show the world that Islam is the best religion and my Hijab is not helping. Being smart, successful, having ideas, fight for a reason and last making history, that LJ, a muslim was the first one to…

6. Will Allah be happier of me because I reached, spread and changed the views of many people of what muslims are like or judge me on the fact that i took off the Hijab to do that.

7. To my real saddness, I have seen people who took off their veil with the understanding that it gives you the freedom to wear outrageous clothes. Not covering your hair, does not mean that you have to be indecent. So, for most of you in this discussion who associated removing the veil as a resistance to Allah’s commands, it is to a certain extent correct, when you think of what happens after taking off the veil. On the other hand, i know very decend people without veils and have changed the world for the best and for sure Allah has good rewards for them.

Conclusion:
I am still thinking about it, I have lots of interaction with people outside the middle-east which places me in an awkward position to fight for all the muslims each time i talk to one of them, just because i am veiled. What if their admiration for my honesty, loyalty and hard work translates to me being a muslim, compared to “take that, I am veiled” and end of story.

What does being a muslim mean? To pray and stay in our world
Isn’t it one of our duties to spread our religion
What happens if your intentions are nobel but you are taking a bold way to make it happen
Between me and Allah, I have prayed Istikhara for him to show me the right way. At the end of the day, he will judge me for what i did and no one else.

Your thoughts are welcome –

PS: Sherine – Though hijab is not one of the 5 pillars of Islam, we were it as a fard, do you have other reasons why YOU wear it. It might help.