If there’s one thing I dislike more than someone calling me extreme, it’s calling me extreme in front of my 
face as if I’m not even in the room.
Yesterday, I went to this jeweler we go to every year in Alexandria. I was outside the store looking at the display in the window while my mom, aunt and cousin made themselves comfortable inside.
I was happy my mom did her routine warning of telling men, “My daughter doesn’t shake hands (with men).” It’s actually kind of funny; I’m not the one that gets embarrassed to tell a guy if he puts out his hand that I won’t shake his hand. I think my mom is the one that feels awkward in that situation. Sometimes, I’d actually rather the guy be a little embarrassed so he’ll think twice the next time he’s about to try to shake a random woman’s hand.
Anyway, I was looking at some rings with my mom when the owner comes up to me and asks me, “Shaking hands with men, halal or haraam?” (Typical Egyptian question. Look at number one on my past post about Egypt)
“Haraam,” I answered.
“No wallahi, it is not haraam,” he said.
At this point I’m thinking. ‘Who are you? And why did you just swear by Allah on a fatwah you just pulled out of the air?’
I knew exactly where this conversation was going. I knew they typical Egyptian mentality in which anything non-Egyptian like is considered extreme or abnormal. I figured before he says something else that’s extremely haraam, I’m not going to respond because 1. Any response may lead him to say more dangerous statements, so it’s better I stay quiet and 2. That mentality is very hard to convince otherwise.
But no. He wanted to try to “change my mind.”
“Wallahi I’m telling you it’s not haraam. Believe me, this is what I say. It’s all about intentions,” he went on to say.
At this point I begin to open my mouth to try to correct him, in which he asks, “Who told you it was haraam?”
“Rasool Allah, salallahu alayhi wa sallam did. In a hadith…” And before I could even site the hadith.. he turns to my mom and asks her, “Where does she get these ideas? Probably from America and the people she hangs around over there.”
At this point I’m thinking of the irony of that statement. That I can learn something correct in the deen in a non-Muslim country, while people here, in a Muslim country, are clueless. Alhamduliillah for the guidance of Allah. In the end he continued telling my mom I was extreme and that a “sheikh on religious TV channel” told them it wasnt haraam. (See number two on my list.)
Today, being called extreme is a compliment. I don’t want to be liberal and wishy washy. A friend of mine told me a long time ago of this matrimonial service in which one of the main questions they ask is:
“How religious should your partner be?”
A. Liberal
B. Moderate
C. Extreme
Extreme…seriously? Haha. Sadly, that’s what I’d circle.
When you start to change and start becoming more religious, often times you’ll see the first people to call you extreme are your family and friends (i.e. those closest to you.) Then it’ll slowly progress to random people and jewelers you hardly know.
Be patient. The more your endure the more your eman will increase and the firmer you’re feet will be planted in the deen. Wallahu alem. Just my two cents/rant for the day.
Wallahu alem.
Stumble it!
August 3rd, 2008 at 2:51 pm
This is why I said the “the Best Muslims and the Worst Muslims live in America“
August 3rd, 2008 at 3:17 pm
That reminds me; My aunt the other day told me that ribba (interest) wasn’t haram anymore because she had heard a TV sheikh say so…
LOL. Trying to convince me otherwise is going to take a lot more than some TV wiseguy.
August 3rd, 2008 at 3:42 pm
It’s not that different here in the US. The Non-muslims here say “its true..I saw it on TV!”
Same stuff…different pile
I can just imagine some hillbilly saying “It’s gotta be true…they said it on fox news!”
August 4th, 2008 at 4:22 am
hahahahhahaha
that is funny man. it reminded me alot of masr, how so many people are “mi7aggar dima3′hom” (firm headed) in things they have no clue about.
i think this situation also stems from people (mostly masris) that try to get into your business without u ever opening the door.forget deen matters - i once had a random guy in the street try to convince me that it was haram 3alaya to eat a scoop of mango ice cream with a scoop of chocolate ice cream. tab winta maalak?? subhanallah.
theres no use even arguing with people like that.
yes…you are very correct. the battle always starts from within - the family. eventually though, inshallah, ive seen that they will begin to follow suit, but by then youll probably be at a different stage, and then the cycle will continue. minute criticism never ceases when it comes to masri family members.
wallahi sometimes i think people like that are the extreme ones.
allah gives guidance to whom he wills. patience is beautiful
whoo i love egypt! oum el donya
August 4th, 2008 at 9:42 am
“haram 3alaya to eat a scoop of mango ice cream with a scoop of chocolate ice cream. tab winta maalak??”
wallahi i laughed a lot when i read this. I don’t know though.. manga wa lamoon, yes.. manga wa chocolata.. i think that calls for an intervention.
They really do try to butt into your life… and I think the worst part of the story i actually forgot to mention. After he called me extreme, he’s like “3obal el diblah” when i was looking at rings. then he turns to my mom asks her for contact information in america because he’s going to “look for a suitor for me” im like “seriously what in the world!” i told him no thank you, because I only like extremist.
MR, Albaraa, i think in general you can find the best and worst muslims in any country. and just like egyptians have “mr. Sheikh” on TV you’re right, you have the “experts on Fox news” and you have “my parents said so, and i was raised this way, etc.”
Until people really understand the importance of following quran and sunnah they really will follow whatever will make their lives “easiest.”
August 4th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Shirien,
You got that right! But the thing that knocks my socks more than anything is that when a person properly follows the Quran; their life enters a zone of ‘easiness” that has never been touched before. You find a peace that cannot be claimed otherwise.
The sunna is placed in front of us not to make our lives hard, or miserable.. But rather to beautify it by strengthening our relationship with Allah (SWT).
I find most people are too hard headed or just don’t care enough to seek out the truth of the truth.
August 4th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
Extremist! It is sad that to practice Islam well, you get labeled extreme. There needs to be a better adjective to describe Muslims who are striving to follow the Sunnah…
August 5th, 2008 at 11:56 am
Shirien, I have a better option for you. Here’s the role play:
Shopkeeper: “You’re Extreme”
Response: “Jazakhallah khair”
That’s what I do anyway.
August 5th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
Br Faisal that would be sooo simple, subhan’Allah.
One thing i did was when someone called me ‘extreme’ they are close so i had to take another approach. I persuaded them to watch Khalid Yasin’s Strangers video, the 10 min promo.
I was like, just listen and then you can go, So he listened. Then something happened later on and he was going to say it again and stopped right there and just went quiet. He looked at me and smiled, it was nice and heart pleasing to see this.
Subhan’Allah i was well pleased that he learnt something, alHamdulillah. So Shirien, it’s sad but hey your doing it for the sake of Allah ‘azza wa jall so they pretty much take a back seat.
November 9th, 2008 at 1:35 am
Hahaha, nice post!
check out my blog sometime
http://themuslimkid.blogspot.com/
-The Muslim Kid